Happy New Year,
It has been several years since I have blogged in regards to my weight loss journey. It wasn't until recently that I'd really thought about my journey to where I am today. A friend of mine, who found out I had gone through surgery asked me about it. She was thinking about it, I gave her my thoughts both good and bad experiences and told her I would support her no matter the route she took. its not for everybody, especially if you go into it thinking, "hey I'm gonna get skinny!" Wrong answer.
My journey goes so far back and looking back at it.. over 8 years ago I had begun this journey. From 386 pounds down to 176 pounds. Mind you, my weight fluctuates like everybody else's does. I've gone as high at 199, but never over that. When it crept that high I freaked out and went back to the basics. I'm proud to say that I am a steady 176 pounds, but like i said I go up and go down, but pretty much maintain where I am at.
Over the last four years, I became a grandmother, graduated from Nursing school, worked in my field in a private duty capacity, and mentored others who have either had surgery and are struggling, or been the support team who are considering it. I have made some great friends because of this commonality and lost some who became resentful of my success. My success does not mean I did not struggle, it just means I have remembered to use my tool box. I regret none of it.
Our catering business has probably thrived because of it We (I) only cater a few events a year. I cant eat a lot of what I cater, so I feed. I'm good at it. I am a natural food pusher, just ask my husband and children. I love to feed! I have recently expanded our catering to private meals for shut ins who can not cook for themselves and for those who do not wish to cook due to their ages. I love this. I can cook a variety of meals with a ton of restrictions and enjoy every challenge. Ive learned how to make my own crackers!
At home I am still a food Nazi, but have backed off comparatively since 2017! I still do all the meal planning (with suggestions of course from those who eat what is cooked), I do the shopping, but I do not do all of the prep. Matt has picked up that aspect of it. I am grateful for that. We eat healthy. We are virtually a pasta free household. There was a little bit if hesitancy about it, but now its ritual so no problems. We eat junk. I have learned that everything can be eaten but always in moderation. I deprive my self of nothing at all. It creates bad habits and binges, both of which I do not need.
I have come to learn that I can eat whatever I want but my body always tells me how it feels about it. With that said, I avoid milk ( I drink lactose free milk), I avoid pasta and breads, most things gluten filled, ground hamburger unless it is the good stuff, but I'm too cheap to pay for that so I often dont), As well as corn and rice. I love steak and chocolate cake (both of which I had no desire to eat 8 years ago). I eat pizza minus the dough and crust most times. If you want to see something fun, watch that, just ask my 19 year old son. He laughs ever time. I eat cookies and all kinds of sweets, but always in moderation. I still dont eat celery! I listen to my body. Even if I do not listen, I pay for it within 30 minutes. Its not fun or fun to watch (so i am told).
I look at other who are on a weight loss journey and see all the successes. I wished I could have been successful on these programs like Jennie Craig, Weight Watchers, Atkins, paleo, yada yada, and so on. I tried it all. Why didnt these work for me. I found out about 4 years ago it had something to do with my cortisol levels being too high and being insulin resistant. Everything carb loaded turned to sugar and was stored for "later usage." This comes from training your body for years through binge and purge and deprivation. Do I feel bad? Sometimes yes. I feel bad that I my body didn't have the courage or motivation to do what I needed to do on its own, but she just wasn't' having it. I REGRET nothing in this journey.
My Cholesterol was 589 at its highest on meds, and now its 187. My BGS was always so high, I refused to take it and now its maintained and I feel good. The only side effect I really endured was major hair loss, which is why I went from long locks to a pixie cut! I have tried multiple times to grow it out and it always comes out in clumps. So I always go back to the pixie. Again this weekend I am headed there!
It seems I'm just rambling at this point, so I will close it up and Say Happy New Year and if you need a support system for weight loss,, FIND ME! I'm here.
Bonnie
Monday, December 30, 2019
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Hell Yeah! Happy & Healthy in 2016
Happy Holidays
I just gave this link to a friend who is considering this surgery and realized that I had not written in 2 years. I guess I felt that I didn't need to detail my journey any more, but others are still reading and checking, but since Ive last posted I know that at least three of my friends have had the sleeve, and one had to undergo a full bypass as his sleeve failed. He also had the skin removal surgery. A surgery I teeter with weekly.
I have made some great friends who have walked this journey after me. They get it. Its nice to have that sometimes and sometimes I am glad people don't know where I use to be. I am ashamed that I let myself get there and have vowed to never get there again. Ever. A healthier me is my moto now. I'm happy to answering any questions or offer any support to those who are thinking of this journey, are walking this journey and need a pep talk, have had the surgery and need some reassurance that this was the right decision or just have been post op and need to compare notes. I will never pretend I know anything or what is right for you, I just know what is right for me and what worked for me. My email: momofkvkwa@facebook.
The last two years have been quite the journey! Let me start off by saying I am 182 pounds, which is 5 pounds less than it was at 18 months post op (my last blog post). Im holding my own. In the summer it drops about 15 pounds due to more activity, but I maintain and I'm ok with that.
I have learned what I can eat, what I can't eat, what I'm intolerable to and what I absolutely can't live without. I've also learned what I HATE and LOVE now. Its amazing how your taste changes after the surgery. Be prepared for it. I wasn't. Nobody warned me. I'm warning you.
I do not attend the FAHC support group meetings, they just dont work in my schedule, although I should go. I may make a difference for somebody else. I didnt have that and wished I did.
I have since gotten married, as most of you know in 2014 in a size 12 dress and went bra-less. What a feeling that was. There were cups built in, but no bra. . Never in my life have i ever been bra-less for any other reason than being lazy and not caring. lol . I have completed my third Semester at Norwich and am half way into my 5 year schooling to get my BSN. Food during school is definitely a challenge as I constantly still eat every 2 hours, so I am always eating in class it seems. Many of my classmates have no idea that I've been on this journey and probably think I just like to ALWAYS eat. I do, but I eat differently now.
I started running 2-3 times a week in the summer time about 2 -3 miles a wack. Anything more and I'm toast and get bored with it. Im not always good about running weekly nor am I good about faithfully exercising, but I am very active even if not in "structured exercise."
Last summer 2015, I ran the Dirty Girl 5k mud run in Killington. I ran it alone, but like this journey I had tremendous support again for my crazy idea. I ran it in approximately 45 minutes. I was so proud of myself. Who would have thought this fat girl would run a race. They were so proud of me and that was probably more important that I made them proud then actually completing it in record time. Next year I have recruited at least two that I know of already, to run with me. I am very excited.
I wont lie, this surgery saved my life, made me become a food nazi at everbody (which I believe I was entitled to force my new eating habits on to and wasn't), but it gave me a new lease on life. I have more energy to keep up with all of my children. I can wear cute underwear and sweaters. While all those seem really insignificant to many people, they are really huge NSV goals to me.
There are days that I wear those XL sweat pants and tshirt just so I dont have to go anywhere and can be comfortable again and blend into the crowd. Mind you I never leave the house in those clothes, but you get my drift. I try my best to be supportive and sensitive of those walking this journey. I was there, I know how it feels to be discouraged, to beat yourself up, and feel unworthy of this loss.
The other thing I won't lie about is, I still look in the mirror and see that fat girl every day. Its very hard to get my brain to not see her. She was like that for 20 years. I was comfortable hiding behind her. Now I have had to stand up, be accountable for all aspects of my life and watch everything as others often watch me. I didnt ask for that, it just happened. So I do my best to tuck my fat girl in my back pocket and let the new me shine through.
Happy 2016! Here's to a healthier YOU.
I just gave this link to a friend who is considering this surgery and realized that I had not written in 2 years. I guess I felt that I didn't need to detail my journey any more, but others are still reading and checking, but since Ive last posted I know that at least three of my friends have had the sleeve, and one had to undergo a full bypass as his sleeve failed. He also had the skin removal surgery. A surgery I teeter with weekly.
I have made some great friends who have walked this journey after me. They get it. Its nice to have that sometimes and sometimes I am glad people don't know where I use to be. I am ashamed that I let myself get there and have vowed to never get there again. Ever. A healthier me is my moto now. I'm happy to answering any questions or offer any support to those who are thinking of this journey, are walking this journey and need a pep talk, have had the surgery and need some reassurance that this was the right decision or just have been post op and need to compare notes. I will never pretend I know anything or what is right for you, I just know what is right for me and what worked for me. My email: momofkvkwa@facebook.
The last two years have been quite the journey! Let me start off by saying I am 182 pounds, which is 5 pounds less than it was at 18 months post op (my last blog post). Im holding my own. In the summer it drops about 15 pounds due to more activity, but I maintain and I'm ok with that.
I have learned what I can eat, what I can't eat, what I'm intolerable to and what I absolutely can't live without. I've also learned what I HATE and LOVE now. Its amazing how your taste changes after the surgery. Be prepared for it. I wasn't. Nobody warned me. I'm warning you.
I do not attend the FAHC support group meetings, they just dont work in my schedule, although I should go. I may make a difference for somebody else. I didnt have that and wished I did.
I have since gotten married, as most of you know in 2014 in a size 12 dress and went bra-less. What a feeling that was. There were cups built in, but no bra. . Never in my life have i ever been bra-less for any other reason than being lazy and not caring. lol . I have completed my third Semester at Norwich and am half way into my 5 year schooling to get my BSN. Food during school is definitely a challenge as I constantly still eat every 2 hours, so I am always eating in class it seems. Many of my classmates have no idea that I've been on this journey and probably think I just like to ALWAYS eat. I do, but I eat differently now.
I started running 2-3 times a week in the summer time about 2 -3 miles a wack. Anything more and I'm toast and get bored with it. Im not always good about running weekly nor am I good about faithfully exercising, but I am very active even if not in "structured exercise."
Last summer 2015, I ran the Dirty Girl 5k mud run in Killington. I ran it alone, but like this journey I had tremendous support again for my crazy idea. I ran it in approximately 45 minutes. I was so proud of myself. Who would have thought this fat girl would run a race. They were so proud of me and that was probably more important that I made them proud then actually completing it in record time. Next year I have recruited at least two that I know of already, to run with me. I am very excited.
I wont lie, this surgery saved my life, made me become a food nazi at everbody (which I believe I was entitled to force my new eating habits on to and wasn't), but it gave me a new lease on life. I have more energy to keep up with all of my children. I can wear cute underwear and sweaters. While all those seem really insignificant to many people, they are really huge NSV goals to me.
There are days that I wear those XL sweat pants and tshirt just so I dont have to go anywhere and can be comfortable again and blend into the crowd. Mind you I never leave the house in those clothes, but you get my drift. I try my best to be supportive and sensitive of those walking this journey. I was there, I know how it feels to be discouraged, to beat yourself up, and feel unworthy of this loss.
The other thing I won't lie about is, I still look in the mirror and see that fat girl every day. Its very hard to get my brain to not see her. She was like that for 20 years. I was comfortable hiding behind her. Now I have had to stand up, be accountable for all aspects of my life and watch everything as others often watch me. I didnt ask for that, it just happened. So I do my best to tuck my fat girl in my back pocket and let the new me shine through.
Happy 2016! Here's to a healthier YOU.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
18 Months Post -Op,
Happy Holidays -
I apologize for the long delay of an entry, but my life has taken a huge spin about and I've not had time.
So as most of you know, I am 18 months post op and have inspired FIVE of my friends to journey down the WLS road as well. All I can do is be supportive and cheer them on. I am willing to help those who want to help themselves. Know that WLS is not for everybody, sometimes diet & exercise is enough.
The first holiday of this season was extremely difficult for me to manage, believe it or not. I managed to get through it and MANAGED to even hit more than 1200 calories that day without exploding. Its all about portion, moderation, and timing.
Since this surgery, I've managed to switch from eating good snacks to being a choco-holic, but with severe moderation. I have maintained my weight since August and am please as is the Doctor. I still struggle with thin hair due to lack of protein requirements in my diet as well as Vit D deficiency and Vit B6 & 12, but those can be fixed with daily supplements.
With Winter upon us, I can start to get out and do some snow shoeing. I'm so very excited.
Just thought I would pop in and wish all of my followers a Merry Christmas.
Here is an updated frontal comparison as well as side views.
Hugs,
Bonnie
.jpg)
I apologize for the long delay of an entry, but my life has taken a huge spin about and I've not had time.
So as most of you know, I am 18 months post op and have inspired FIVE of my friends to journey down the WLS road as well. All I can do is be supportive and cheer them on. I am willing to help those who want to help themselves. Know that WLS is not for everybody, sometimes diet & exercise is enough.
The first holiday of this season was extremely difficult for me to manage, believe it or not. I managed to get through it and MANAGED to even hit more than 1200 calories that day without exploding. Its all about portion, moderation, and timing.
Since this surgery, I've managed to switch from eating good snacks to being a choco-holic, but with severe moderation. I have maintained my weight since August and am please as is the Doctor. I still struggle with thin hair due to lack of protein requirements in my diet as well as Vit D deficiency and Vit B6 & 12, but those can be fixed with daily supplements.
With Winter upon us, I can start to get out and do some snow shoeing. I'm so very excited.
Just thought I would pop in and wish all of my followers a Merry Christmas.
Here is an updated frontal comparison as well as side views.
Hugs,
Bonnie
.jpg)
Friday, May 10, 2013
12 Months and 3 days Post op VSG - no Regrets!
Hello,
Its been since November 2012 that I wrote last. Six months Post op. That seems like ages ago. I'm sure my entries will be come less and less as time goes on.
Today, I am 169.8 pounds! :) that would be 159 pounds LESS than I was when I started my journey, for those of you counting pounds.
June 10, 2011 @ 331 pounds February 17, 2013 @ 181 pounds
I'm ecstatic. I can't believe how great I feel, how I look, and how awesome my support system still is. I've become a support people too for several people in various states of a gastric surgery or weight loss.. I am helping them (I hope). I was blessed with the tools and a second chance on life. I want to pay it forward. I don't pretend to be a know it all, I just know what I know and what works for me. I will never say it will work for you. I can only share my experience. I've had some ask for help and take it. I've had some ask for help and not take it. Those who've asked and took it have been successful, no matter the route they've taken. Those who have failed have probably lied to me and themselves. I'm not offended or upset. You have to want this. You are the maker of your own destiny. YOU control your own life. If you lie to yourself when it comes to what you eat, how you eat, and why you eat, then you lie to ONLY yourself and nobody else. Until you are honest with yourself, you can not make the change. I was there once.
I have managed to accomplish a lot of Firsts in the second half of my year. I've fit into a kayak without squeeeezing into it, I've played broom ball, went snowshoeing, gone ice skating with my children, started running three days a week with the help of couch to 5K with TIED shoes, I went on the water slide at Jay Peak Pump House without worrying about the weight limit, I BOUGHT a real bathing suit (not just shorts and a tank top), and I hiked Hunger Mountain. I did it! All of those things, with doubts and apprehension, but I did it.
My yearly check ups went great. I followed up with my Surgeon as well as my primary physician. I mainly went to my primary to thank her for the push. She pushed me once and I bucked her because I was lying to myself. The second push from her was not bucked. I thanked her at this visit in many tears of happiness. For those of you wondering... There are NO regrets, even though I've had a few side effects, but what's to regret? SO what I lost my thick hair, I got a great new hair cut :) and So what if my Vitamin B12 is in the toilet.. Its just a needle once a month. But, my cholesterol has dropped drastically as well. The good is coming up and the bad is going down. My weight loss has slowed/plateaued and now I've started to build muscle :) Yeah me! The picture above was taken April 26, 2013 near my one year surgeversary
I've probably added 10 or more years onto my life. I enjoy every day as the gift that it is. There are challenges and struggles that go along with this, but ya know what? I'm alive! I'm healthier. I will get to grow old with the one I love and enjoy being a grandmother, (Eventually). I have so much to be thankful for.
I will admit that I did become a bit of a food Nazi around the holidays and after it was pointed out to me multiple times, I toned it down and eventually all together stopped being vocal about it. I guess I was just so excited to be so healthy I got carried away. I wanted everybody around me to be healthier too. Ya know... They are! I guess part of me was jealous which I why I was so Nazi-ish. They were eating sweets and junk, as much as they wanted and when they wanted without a worry. I missed that, but I did really well. I did eat some of it.. Some of it I paid for and some I did not.
I am frequently asked now, 'Can you eat this? Can you eat that?' The answer is "YES." I can eat whatever I want. Does it agree with me? Not always, but I never refuse myself anything. That's where you get in trouble. I eat what I want when I want just knowing the consequences and prepared to deal with them.
In fact my tastes have changed drastically. for those of you who know me.. I never did chocolate, sweets, or steak. Well, Now I don't do milk, bread, rice, or complex starches regularly either, but give the chance for chocolate cake or a piece of steak.. You betcha! All in moderation of course.
Again I thank all of my friends and extended family for your constant support and encouragement during this journey. I especially thank my immediate family for putting up with all the Nazi business AND my frustrations, discouragement, and whining. Without you being there to keep me strong and steadfast, I would not be on the right track and I would be standing alone! I love you all
With Chocolate Kisses,
Bonnie
Its been since November 2012 that I wrote last. Six months Post op. That seems like ages ago. I'm sure my entries will be come less and less as time goes on.
Today, I am 169.8 pounds! :) that would be 159 pounds LESS than I was when I started my journey, for those of you counting pounds.
I'm ecstatic. I can't believe how great I feel, how I look, and how awesome my support system still is. I've become a support people too for several people in various states of a gastric surgery or weight loss.. I am helping them (I hope). I was blessed with the tools and a second chance on life. I want to pay it forward. I don't pretend to be a know it all, I just know what I know and what works for me. I will never say it will work for you. I can only share my experience. I've had some ask for help and take it. I've had some ask for help and not take it. Those who've asked and took it have been successful, no matter the route they've taken. Those who have failed have probably lied to me and themselves. I'm not offended or upset. You have to want this. You are the maker of your own destiny. YOU control your own life. If you lie to yourself when it comes to what you eat, how you eat, and why you eat, then you lie to ONLY yourself and nobody else. Until you are honest with yourself, you can not make the change. I was there once.
I have managed to accomplish a lot of Firsts in the second half of my year. I've fit into a kayak without squeeeezing into it, I've played broom ball, went snowshoeing, gone ice skating with my children, started running three days a week with the help of couch to 5K with TIED shoes, I went on the water slide at Jay Peak Pump House without worrying about the weight limit, I BOUGHT a real bathing suit (not just shorts and a tank top), and I hiked Hunger Mountain. I did it! All of those things, with doubts and apprehension, but I did it.My yearly check ups went great. I followed up with my Surgeon as well as my primary physician. I mainly went to my primary to thank her for the push. She pushed me once and I bucked her because I was lying to myself. The second push from her was not bucked. I thanked her at this visit in many tears of happiness. For those of you wondering... There are NO regrets, even though I've had a few side effects, but what's to regret? SO what I lost my thick hair, I got a great new hair cut :) and So what if my Vitamin B12 is in the toilet.. Its just a needle once a month. But, my cholesterol has dropped drastically as well. The good is coming up and the bad is going down. My weight loss has slowed/plateaued and now I've started to build muscle :) Yeah me! The picture above was taken April 26, 2013 near my one year surgeversary
I've probably added 10 or more years onto my life. I enjoy every day as the gift that it is. There are challenges and struggles that go along with this, but ya know what? I'm alive! I'm healthier. I will get to grow old with the one I love and enjoy being a grandmother, (Eventually). I have so much to be thankful for.
I will admit that I did become a bit of a food Nazi around the holidays and after it was pointed out to me multiple times, I toned it down and eventually all together stopped being vocal about it. I guess I was just so excited to be so healthy I got carried away. I wanted everybody around me to be healthier too. Ya know... They are! I guess part of me was jealous which I why I was so Nazi-ish. They were eating sweets and junk, as much as they wanted and when they wanted without a worry. I missed that, but I did really well. I did eat some of it.. Some of it I paid for and some I did not.
I am frequently asked now, 'Can you eat this? Can you eat that?' The answer is "YES." I can eat whatever I want. Does it agree with me? Not always, but I never refuse myself anything. That's where you get in trouble. I eat what I want when I want just knowing the consequences and prepared to deal with them.
In fact my tastes have changed drastically. for those of you who know me.. I never did chocolate, sweets, or steak. Well, Now I don't do milk, bread, rice, or complex starches regularly either, but give the chance for chocolate cake or a piece of steak.. You betcha! All in moderation of course.
Again I thank all of my friends and extended family for your constant support and encouragement during this journey. I especially thank my immediate family for putting up with all the Nazi business AND my frustrations, discouragement, and whining. Without you being there to keep me strong and steadfast, I would not be on the right track and I would be standing alone! I love you all
With Chocolate Kisses,
Bonnie
Friday, November 9, 2012
Six month four day- post op!
Six months Post Op!
Well today I weighed in being 6 months and 4 days out. 207!!! Not quite below 200 which was my six month goal, butHaven't seen this in months, heck; YEARS. Who am I kidding?! 124 total since the beginning and 100 # from surgery date!! Excited? You bet! Considering they advised 80 pounds is the norm in the first year!
It's amazing the people that drive right by me because the just don't recognize me or people who don't wave for the same reason. Heck my own mother drove right by me cuz she thought "somebody else" was driving a car that looked like mine. It's ok, I don't recognize me either.
I have to share what happened to me just yesterday. I was asked, when I was at CVMC to get blood drawn if my personality changed; mind you my youngest daughter was with me ( my physical support person - one of them through all of this) .. Anyway, simultaneously we answer " she says 'YES' and me? I say no!! Lol. We both laugh and then I look at her confused - STILL IN FRONT OF THE REGISTRATION PERSON She simply says " she's Much happier". My heart melted. It's true. I'm happy with me, loose flabby skin, missing belly button and all! Healthier! The new me! This woman proceeded to talk to us about wanting to do this herself, but had no support. Before I could say anything, my youngest daughter says to her "Ill be YOURS! I'll go with you every step if the way". Needless to say this woman and myself were moved to tears for two entirely different reasons! How proud I was!
Keep in mind The last six months have NOT come without challenges, but the successes outweigh those Ten to One (10:1. )
I often get asked "what, if anything, do I regret about this surgery/ process?" My answer: NOTHING! The only challenge I constantly have is I've yet to find a food that cures the 'need' to eat. You know that comfort food the one that satisfies. Haven't found it. I HAVE found my sweet tooth :/ which I NEVER HAD. For those of you that are thinking " oh no!" No worries, two pieces of dove bar and I'm done. :). If The fat content in anything is higher than 4g- my body throws a fit, therefore I stay away, but it's soo worth it The only issue I hate and am trying to really grasp ahold of is the major amount if hair loss. But hey, what's a lil clogging drain or rats nest hair brush!? Lol. Biotin and B complex overload is my best friend these days.
I worried in the past I'd fail, but I don't anymore I'd slip back. I listen to my body (as I always have) and pay the price if I don't. This is a LIFESTYLE change not a quick fix. In fact, I've taken over all the grocery shopping AND food preparation at home. oh don't worry, Matt still cooks but with me by his side AFTER I've / we've shopped. Lol. Makes him crazy but it needs to happen.
Another question I get asked is "what can you eat?" I'm just like you I can eat whatever I want. Just depends on whether I want the consequences or not. If I don't eat it, it's because I don't want the consequences,it's not because I can't. Did you think is give up grilled cheese forever!? Haha - you're funny. Once a month (due to bread and fats) I treat myself - yes I do pay but I do treat myself to half a sandwich :).
I've managed to now run 2 miles, walk 4.5miles and hike more! All without struggling. My middle son and I fave plans for some XC skiing this winter as well as some snowshoeing! how excited am i to be able to wear ski pants. :) with all this exercise I hope to tone and prep my cardio for the spring.
My goal is to run the Sap Run @ Maple Festival time in April 2013, but my first running attempt, I think will be is going to be the one mile Reindeer Run in St Albans December 6th. :).
Well today I weighed in being 6 months and 4 days out. 207!!! Not quite below 200 which was my six month goal, butHaven't seen this in months, heck; YEARS. Who am I kidding?! 124 total since the beginning and 100 # from surgery date!! Excited? You bet! Considering they advised 80 pounds is the norm in the first year!
It's amazing the people that drive right by me because the just don't recognize me or people who don't wave for the same reason. Heck my own mother drove right by me cuz she thought "somebody else" was driving a car that looked like mine. It's ok, I don't recognize me either.
I have to share what happened to me just yesterday. I was asked, when I was at CVMC to get blood drawn if my personality changed; mind you my youngest daughter was with me ( my physical support person - one of them through all of this) .. Anyway, simultaneously we answer " she says 'YES' and me? I say no!! Lol. We both laugh and then I look at her confused - STILL IN FRONT OF THE REGISTRATION PERSON She simply says " she's Much happier". My heart melted. It's true. I'm happy with me, loose flabby skin, missing belly button and all! Healthier! The new me! This woman proceeded to talk to us about wanting to do this herself, but had no support. Before I could say anything, my youngest daughter says to her "Ill be YOURS! I'll go with you every step if the way". Needless to say this woman and myself were moved to tears for two entirely different reasons! How proud I was!
Keep in mind The last six months have NOT come without challenges, but the successes outweigh those Ten to One (10:1. )
I often get asked "what, if anything, do I regret about this surgery/ process?" My answer: NOTHING! The only challenge I constantly have is I've yet to find a food that cures the 'need' to eat. You know that comfort food the one that satisfies. Haven't found it. I HAVE found my sweet tooth :/ which I NEVER HAD. For those of you that are thinking " oh no!" No worries, two pieces of dove bar and I'm done. :). If The fat content in anything is higher than 4g- my body throws a fit, therefore I stay away, but it's soo worth it The only issue I hate and am trying to really grasp ahold of is the major amount if hair loss. But hey, what's a lil clogging drain or rats nest hair brush!? Lol. Biotin and B complex overload is my best friend these days.
I worried in the past I'd fail, but I don't anymore I'd slip back. I listen to my body (as I always have) and pay the price if I don't. This is a LIFESTYLE change not a quick fix. In fact, I've taken over all the grocery shopping AND food preparation at home. oh don't worry, Matt still cooks but with me by his side AFTER I've / we've shopped. Lol. Makes him crazy but it needs to happen.
Another question I get asked is "what can you eat?" I'm just like you I can eat whatever I want. Just depends on whether I want the consequences or not. If I don't eat it, it's because I don't want the consequences,it's not because I can't. Did you think is give up grilled cheese forever!? Haha - you're funny. Once a month (due to bread and fats) I treat myself - yes I do pay but I do treat myself to half a sandwich :).
I've managed to now run 2 miles, walk 4.5miles and hike more! All without struggling. My middle son and I fave plans for some XC skiing this winter as well as some snowshoeing! how excited am i to be able to wear ski pants. :) with all this exercise I hope to tone and prep my cardio for the spring.
My goal is to run the Sap Run @ Maple Festival time in April 2013, but my first running attempt, I think will be is going to be the one mile Reindeer Run in St Albans December 6th. :).
Monday, August 13, 2012
14 weeks post op.. challenges loom
It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and I truly apologize. I’ve been a little busy. Work, a 2 year old, August Birthdays AND Matt gone to guard camp, but today (at work) I’ve made time..
For those of you asking and counting ~ 243 as of August 2nd and still coming down. My next professional weigh in is November, right before the Holidays :/ The past fourteen weeks have proved to be a challenge every day, both good and bad equally, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I regret my decision. Say it’s the easy way out, say I cheated.. Say whatever you want, but know doing this was never an easy decision. There are days I question (due to the challenges) myself as to whether I did the right thing and the answer is always the same, but I never regret it.
I am down a total of 88 pounds since June 10, 2011 and since surgery date weigh in, I’m 64.8 pounds down! Yeah for me! Its still coming off to the point where it scares me because of how fast its coming off. The purpose of all this right?! Here’s where the challenges come in.
It does, however, seem like I have MORE of a body image issue now than I ever did when I was morbidly obese. Everybody else is full of praise and wonderment at my transformation, but I only see the flaws, I never saw before. Sounds like it’s time for a support group meeting.
I love the fact that I can get rid of my clothes and buy new ones. Shopping has a whole new meaning. I actually enjoy it. And the new underwear – ah the new underwear.. NO more granny panties.
The types of food I love to eat have ceased to exist. Anything I eat makes me nauseous so I end up drinking my meals for the most part. However, I have discovered steak J and I love it.
I have also for the first time in probably 10 years went hiking on August 4th with my Middle Son, William. What a great feeling. J
And the other night… I watched Extreme Make over Weight Loss Edition. I cried for practically the entire episode. I kept thinking, I went through that, I know how she feels. Did I really look like that and do I look like that now?! Amazing transformation in progress.
june 10, 2011 August 2, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Five weeks and still.........
So I'm five weeks post op and my next appointment isnt until June 21st :/ My home scale is broke and have yet to make it out to purchase a new one! Im hearing lots of nice things from lots of people :)) Thank you all.
For those of you who ask, "Do you notice a difference?" The answer is yes and no. Yes in my clothes. The old ones hang and the new ones are not even anywhere close to what I use to buy, which makes shopping fun! I can shop with my girls on the same side of the store and not "meet up" with them later :))
No.. when I look in the mirror, I dont see the weight coming off, but then again.... I never saw the weight going on either. I never saw myself as 330 pounds. But to look back now.. Holy Shit. So comparing pictures, I see it.
Im struggling some with the diet piece of it. I can eat some soft foods, but then there are some,, Forget it. They just make me vomit. Eating and driving.. NOT AN OPTION! Makes me throw every time :/ so its drink drink drink for me whilst driving. No gum chewing sucks too.
I received a very nice compliment the other day and without even realizing it.. I was told that my story helps so many other people. I dont see it that way, but if you can pull strength ideas from my story then please do so.. I loved knowing that I am helping somebody else. Good for me (this time).
I love all of you who support and follow.
June 9 2011 April 21 2012
June 9, 2012
<3 Bonnie!
For those of you who ask, "Do you notice a difference?" The answer is yes and no. Yes in my clothes. The old ones hang and the new ones are not even anywhere close to what I use to buy, which makes shopping fun! I can shop with my girls on the same side of the store and not "meet up" with them later :))
No.. when I look in the mirror, I dont see the weight coming off, but then again.... I never saw the weight going on either. I never saw myself as 330 pounds. But to look back now.. Holy Shit. So comparing pictures, I see it.
Im struggling some with the diet piece of it. I can eat some soft foods, but then there are some,, Forget it. They just make me vomit. Eating and driving.. NOT AN OPTION! Makes me throw every time :/ so its drink drink drink for me whilst driving. No gum chewing sucks too.
I received a very nice compliment the other day and without even realizing it.. I was told that my story helps so many other people. I dont see it that way, but if you can pull strength ideas from my story then please do so.. I loved knowing that I am helping somebody else. Good for me (this time).
I love all of you who support and follow.
June 9 2011 April 21 2012
June 9, 2012
<3 Bonnie!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Week 3 Post Op!!!!
Post Op diet is killing me.. I really wanna just bite into a huge burger with cheese and onions.. I know that will NEVER happen again. It will be the size of a Half Dollar at best :)
I weigh in Wednesday.
Life After Bariatric Surgery
The Post-Op Diet
Your special diet actually starts before surgery with 10 days of a high protein liquid diet. After surgery, the diet progresses from liquids to regular food slowly over 6 weeks.
Phase 1 – Sugar free clear liquids enough to stay hydrated (includes water, broth, diet gelatin, decaf coffee or tea, sugar free clear beverages, etc.)
Phase 2 – High Protein liquids – includes milk and milk-based drinks, protein supplements, low sugar yogurt, creamed soup, low sugar pudding
Phase 3 – Blended – includes foods blended to a smooth consistency, plus protein supplements
Phase 4 – Soft - small portions of soft cooked foods
Phase 5 – Regular – small portions of high protein foods These diets are explained in great detail at the mandatory post op nutrition class.
Vitamin and Mineral Supplementation
Because intake of food is restricted, the post bariatric surgery patient may become vitamin or mineral deficient. All post op patients are prescribed nutritional supplements. Bypass and sleeve patients, because their surgeries also cause malabsorption of nutrients, receive multivitamins, iron, calcium with Vitamin D, Vitamin B12 and a B complex. Lap band patients take a multivitamin and calcium with Vitamin D. Labs are tested periodically to assure good nutrient status.
week 3 post op
I weigh in Wednesday.Saturday, May 26, 2012
277.8 and frustrated.
This week has been a frustrating one for me personally! I'm back to work full time which has been great. My co-workers have been so supportive, some even offering things I cant have just because they forget.
the frustration for me is the fact that my body is not healing the way it is suppose to. The drain tube has been out for two weeks, but I still have this horrible hole on my right abdominal side, its healing, just not like it suppose to.. So once again, I enlisted the help of my 13 year old son, who was so/so about doing it... the hole has to be packed nightly until it heals. Grrr.
My other frustration is that while I'm losing the weight (and feeling great btw), I feel like it should be coming off faster. Some people who have been here say it could stop in a week or two because all i can do is WALK for exercise and then it will pickup again when I can become really active.
I've managed to get one of my garden boxes planted (thanks to Matt turning the dirt) and half of the large box has been turned (thanks to Keisha), but the rest.............. ugh, the rest!
I'm tired of sitting idly. I feel like I should be able to be up and running around and have to constantly remind myself that I am ONLY three weeks post op.
Today, went to do the trash run and as I was getting ready to load it in the car, my Oldest son, Kohl said "Mom, you're not suppose to be lifting anything", as I continue to try, not listening to him, he said DON'T lift that, I will do it. My response, I wasn't.. He said I saw you. Leave it for me and I will do it. Jeez! :/ :) So I left it. I guess that part, not being able to do all I want or am use to doing is the most frustrating part for me.
I had a great conversation last night with a close friend of mine, who had full GB, she reminded me of the same things I already know! She is 9 months post op, so she's been down this road, its just frustrating for me.
My 2 week post op check yielded 8 more pounds away bringing me to 277.8.. (54 pounds since I started this journey). I haven't seen this number since I was PREGNANT with my 13 year old. HOLY Cow. I'm not seeing the changes, OK maybe in My feet, my fingers, and my upper body are losing it, but that is NOT the place i want it to go away! LOL.... I'm hoping its moving its way down and eventually these hips and ass will take some of the blame and shed it!.
I also received the offer of "new to me" clothes :) size 16! Yikes.. That scares me.. I haven't seen that size since BEFORE I was pregnant with my Youngest daughter 19 years ago. but I gladly accepted them. size 14 s my goal weight. Don't ask what size i am in now.. I'm still wearing stupid tie string pants because of the incisions and drain site. I'm guessing if I HAD to I'd be 22? Maybe..
Anyway, that my gripe for this week. FRUSTRATION.
the frustration for me is the fact that my body is not healing the way it is suppose to. The drain tube has been out for two weeks, but I still have this horrible hole on my right abdominal side, its healing, just not like it suppose to.. So once again, I enlisted the help of my 13 year old son, who was so/so about doing it... the hole has to be packed nightly until it heals. Grrr.
My other frustration is that while I'm losing the weight (and feeling great btw), I feel like it should be coming off faster. Some people who have been here say it could stop in a week or two because all i can do is WALK for exercise and then it will pickup again when I can become really active.
I've managed to get one of my garden boxes planted (thanks to Matt turning the dirt) and half of the large box has been turned (thanks to Keisha), but the rest.............. ugh, the rest!
I'm tired of sitting idly. I feel like I should be able to be up and running around and have to constantly remind myself that I am ONLY three weeks post op.
Today, went to do the trash run and as I was getting ready to load it in the car, my Oldest son, Kohl said "Mom, you're not suppose to be lifting anything", as I continue to try, not listening to him, he said DON'T lift that, I will do it. My response, I wasn't.. He said I saw you. Leave it for me and I will do it. Jeez! :/ :) So I left it. I guess that part, not being able to do all I want or am use to doing is the most frustrating part for me.
I had a great conversation last night with a close friend of mine, who had full GB, she reminded me of the same things I already know! She is 9 months post op, so she's been down this road, its just frustrating for me.
My 2 week post op check yielded 8 more pounds away bringing me to 277.8.. (54 pounds since I started this journey). I haven't seen this number since I was PREGNANT with my 13 year old. HOLY Cow. I'm not seeing the changes, OK maybe in My feet, my fingers, and my upper body are losing it, but that is NOT the place i want it to go away! LOL.... I'm hoping its moving its way down and eventually these hips and ass will take some of the blame and shed it!.
I also received the offer of "new to me" clothes :) size 16! Yikes.. That scares me.. I haven't seen that size since BEFORE I was pregnant with my Youngest daughter 19 years ago. but I gladly accepted them. size 14 s my goal weight. Don't ask what size i am in now.. I'm still wearing stupid tie string pants because of the incisions and drain site. I'm guessing if I HAD to I'd be 22? Maybe..
Anyway, that my gripe for this week. FRUSTRATION.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Doubters- here's 288 in your face!
I thought by now those who had doubts would have changed their minds.. I guess not.. Whatever. I stopped and visited a great friend today, we have an awesome visit. She told me you look great already. I can notice the loss in your face. I didnt believe her, but then at my Primary doctor visit (8 days post op - I was advised to NOT weigh myself) they weighed me. 288! :) Holy cow!!!!!!
I sat and talked with my son the other day when i told him I was below 300.. We figured it out.. its been 14 years since I was below 300 and 20 years since i've been below 200! I'd be happy with 200. Thats a long time.. So instead of eating when I'm angry/ upset/ mad >>>>>I COOK..
For those of you who STILL aren't getting it and are following me...... here is the criteria that I had to achieve.. could you do it?
http://www.fletcherallen.org/services/surgery/specialties/obesity__bariatric__surgery/program_criteria_preop_requirements/
Sincerely,
the Slowly Shrinking friend.
I sat and talked with my son the other day when i told him I was below 300.. We figured it out.. its been 14 years since I was below 300 and 20 years since i've been below 200! I'd be happy with 200. Thats a long time.. So instead of eating when I'm angry/ upset/ mad >>>>>I COOK..
For those of you who STILL aren't getting it and are following me...... here is the criteria that I had to achieve.. could you do it?
http://www.fletcherallen.org/services/surgery/specialties/obesity__bariatric__surgery/program_criteria_preop_requirements/
Sincerely,
the Slowly Shrinking friend.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
6 Days post op = Thank you's and a BBQ
Ha, I guess most of you thought I'd stop running my blogging mouth because the surgery has come and gone? Goal has NOT been met people.. so pay attention closely. :) I've started a support group page on FB Gastric By Pass/ Sleeve Surgery & Lap Band of Vermont
Click the title or the little Earth to go.
~~~~~~> For those of you who missed the final weigh in. 297! Yeah baby. I hit my goal weight loss that had originally set for m and then some! 331 to 297! :)
This journey over the past few days has been amazing and emotional. You know me, cant get away from those emotions.. The support from my immediate family has overwhelmed me. I am truly blessed! it has reared some feelings from a few about my pending appearance changing, but like I have to remind myself .. the inside is still gonna be phat and sassy no matter how you break it down. The outside will be now match the inside vs being FAT and sassy :) I have to be mindful of how my friends are going to react to me when they see me, how and I'm going to react to their reactions? Its simple really. I'm the same me, just a whole lot healthier! There is no immediate change as of today.. it doesn't transform you that quick, its not like plastic surgery! :)
I've set several huge goals for myself to meet by July of 2013 !.
1. Hike Hunger or Worcester mountain without getting out of breath with my boys! :)
2. Run the Sap Run.
3. Run the 4th of July 5k in Montpelier.
4. Learn how to Love Shopping again.
5. Learn how to Snowboard!
Great success yesterday at my first real food event. There was a ton of it. I have decided to . trade one food habit for another. "Those who cant eat, FEED!" I did it. Our first summer BBQ . sans alcohol (the narcotics filled that gap). LOL. I will admit I got more satisfaction watching , everybody chow down on the food I prepared (with Peyton & Keisha's help) yesterday than if I . actually had eaten myself. My tomato soup was just as filling with my main guy on the grill :) Taco Salad, Pasta Salad, Tuna/ Macaroni Salad, Potato Salad, Burgers, Hamburg Dogs, hot dogs, . chicken. Pickles (JUICE FOR ME :)) and chips! It was a day. i went to bed fulfilled and tired!
BTW, for those of you who did text me, or called me (and there were allot) I answered one phone call and a few text messages. sorry for not responding. Anesthesia, Tordol and Morphine would not allow me to keep my eyes open long enough. Without using a general thank you for those who have supported along the way. I need to point people out this week, without your help and support, I couldn't have made it.
.
Thank you to my children for always being the driver behind the new me, without even realizing it. Keisha for your worrying now about me taking your closet full of clothes and being in constant blowupmom'sphone via text messages while I was in the hospital to make sure mama was good. Victoria, i felt your presence ever so strongly while I was in the hospital know just how much you hate them, but allowed me to rest with ease. Kohl, never expressing grave concern, but loving me anyway and measuring my inches lost by how far around your arms would/ still go around my waist. and William, my own personal nurse. You have been great with all the medical stuff and the awesome conversations about all of this, for changing the gross bandage and looking excited at the JP drain tube. You always make me laugh when you say in the coolest, calmest serious voice, "COOL drain".
Thank you to my two closest of friends who kept over my littlest while I began this journey, Telia and Renee. Thank you for making sure he posted to me and letting me get a peek of what he was up to while you had him :) <3 this will never be able to be repaid.
Thank you to my cousin Shelly, who only discovered I was on this adventure a few months ago and has been a huge supporter since your day one and for the beautiful flowers in the hospital. i love you.
My partners in crime (so to speak) Julie and staci! This journey is an adventure and I'm right here beside both of you when its your time! <3
Thank you to those that text, emailed, called, and face booked me.... That list is lengthy, but I will try: Lacey, S Vic-Vick hooray, Wendy, Aunt Sandy, Ben, Pickle, Maureen, Katie, Ma Tante Jeanne, Aunt Loretta, Bibbit, Donna, my in-laws Donna and Bill, She-She, Ms. Judy, Kristina, Darla, Martha, AZ, the famous BrandonKennedy, Chrissy White, Cheri, Jules Dow, and Betsy! PHEW! I hope that is everybody. . If I've forgotten you I'm sorry!.
A special thank you , mom. You have been right behind me from the very start and never wavered ever. I know you, too were apprehensive, but I made it though :) You gave me the will power to move and now I'm movin it. I will persevere and continue on! I love you Mom!
and last but not least (cuz I'm sure I've forgotten somebody) Matthew... You have been my non stop (NOT ONCE) constant in all of this. You didn't make the decision, but you made it easier for me to make them. Without your support, riding my ass, pushing to do it the right way, kicking me in the ass when i wanted to give up (and we both know the tears of defeat were there several times), for sitting 15 hours in the hospital with my pink/ white lunch bag full of MY pink stuff waiting for me, for being so attentive and caring when I just wanted to quit, for giving me that "look" of i got you.. With you, I could have done it, but having you by my side for every rocky step of the preceding chapters made is so much easier! I love you.
Stay tuned.. two week post op pics will be posted..
<3 you all!.
Click the title or the little Earth to go.
~~~~~~> For those of you who missed the final weigh in. 297! Yeah baby. I hit my goal weight loss that had originally set for m and then some! 331 to 297! :)
This journey over the past few days has been amazing and emotional. You know me, cant get away from those emotions.. The support from my immediate family has overwhelmed me. I am truly blessed! it has reared some feelings from a few about my pending appearance changing, but like I have to remind myself .. the inside is still gonna be phat and sassy no matter how you break it down. The outside will be now match the inside vs being FAT and sassy :) I have to be mindful of how my friends are going to react to me when they see me, how and I'm going to react to their reactions? Its simple really. I'm the same me, just a whole lot healthier! There is no immediate change as of today.. it doesn't transform you that quick, its not like plastic surgery! :)
I've set several huge goals for myself to meet by July of 2013 !.
1. Hike Hunger or Worcester mountain without getting out of breath with my boys! :)
2. Run the Sap Run.
3. Run the 4th of July 5k in Montpelier.
4. Learn how to Love Shopping again.
5. Learn how to Snowboard!
Great success yesterday at my first real food event. There was a ton of it. I have decided to . trade one food habit for another. "Those who cant eat, FEED!" I did it. Our first summer BBQ . sans alcohol (the narcotics filled that gap). LOL. I will admit I got more satisfaction watching , everybody chow down on the food I prepared (with Peyton & Keisha's help) yesterday than if I . actually had eaten myself. My tomato soup was just as filling with my main guy on the grill :) Taco Salad, Pasta Salad, Tuna/ Macaroni Salad, Potato Salad, Burgers, Hamburg Dogs, hot dogs, . chicken. Pickles (JUICE FOR ME :)) and chips! It was a day. i went to bed fulfilled and tired!
BTW, for those of you who did text me, or called me (and there were allot) I answered one phone call and a few text messages. sorry for not responding. Anesthesia, Tordol and Morphine would not allow me to keep my eyes open long enough. Without using a general thank you for those who have supported along the way. I need to point people out this week, without your help and support, I couldn't have made it.
.
Thank you to my children for always being the driver behind the new me, without even realizing it. Keisha for your worrying now about me taking your closet full of clothes and being in constant blowupmom'sphone via text messages while I was in the hospital to make sure mama was good. Victoria, i felt your presence ever so strongly while I was in the hospital know just how much you hate them, but allowed me to rest with ease. Kohl, never expressing grave concern, but loving me anyway and measuring my inches lost by how far around your arms would/ still go around my waist. and William, my own personal nurse. You have been great with all the medical stuff and the awesome conversations about all of this, for changing the gross bandage and looking excited at the JP drain tube. You always make me laugh when you say in the coolest, calmest serious voice, "COOL drain".
Thank you to my two closest of friends who kept over my littlest while I began this journey, Telia and Renee. Thank you for making sure he posted to me and letting me get a peek of what he was up to while you had him :) <3 this will never be able to be repaid.
Thank you to my cousin Shelly, who only discovered I was on this adventure a few months ago and has been a huge supporter since your day one and for the beautiful flowers in the hospital. i love you.
My partners in crime (so to speak) Julie and staci! This journey is an adventure and I'm right here beside both of you when its your time! <3
Thank you to those that text, emailed, called, and face booked me.... That list is lengthy, but I will try: Lacey, S Vic-Vick hooray, Wendy, Aunt Sandy, Ben, Pickle, Maureen, Katie, Ma Tante Jeanne, Aunt Loretta, Bibbit, Donna, my in-laws Donna and Bill, She-She, Ms. Judy, Kristina, Darla, Martha, AZ, the famous BrandonKennedy, Chrissy White, Cheri, Jules Dow, and Betsy! PHEW! I hope that is everybody. . If I've forgotten you I'm sorry!.
A special thank you , mom. You have been right behind me from the very start and never wavered ever. I know you, too were apprehensive, but I made it though :) You gave me the will power to move and now I'm movin it. I will persevere and continue on! I love you Mom!
and last but not least (cuz I'm sure I've forgotten somebody) Matthew... You have been my non stop (NOT ONCE) constant in all of this. You didn't make the decision, but you made it easier for me to make them. Without your support, riding my ass, pushing to do it the right way, kicking me in the ass when i wanted to give up (and we both know the tears of defeat were there several times), for sitting 15 hours in the hospital with my pink/ white lunch bag full of MY pink stuff waiting for me, for being so attentive and caring when I just wanted to quit, for giving me that "look" of i got you.. With you, I could have done it, but having you by my side for every rocky step of the preceding chapters made is so much easier! I love you.
Stay tuned.. two week post op pics will be posted..
<3 you all!.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Day 7 - This is easy!
well, this is easy squeezie lemon pleazie.. I'm over half way with the liquid only 3 more full days left.
My emotions (as always) are getting the best of me. I'm ready, then I'm not, then I'm ready, then I'm not! I don't know that I will be ready, but I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be.
The overwhelming support in the past few weeks has climaxed. It humbles me terribly to see just how many people support and love me! Thank you.
I wont lie, I am missing my Tori Girl. She has been, from the beginning, one of the driving forces behind my positive attitude. She won't be here for another 28 days. I can't wait.
Keisha,once she got home, was a huge support and a FOOD Nazi. :)
She and Matt will be at the hospital with me, waiting with the beeper. Cribbage could be on their plate. Three hours of it, at least! lol..
Billy and I had a great talk about nutrition last night. I love the fact that he is interested.
Kohl, I think, he's nervous for me, but hasn't really said much.
Ilove, adore, and appreciate you all for the support and listening to me ramble on about all of this. Your support means the world to me.
My emotions (as always) are getting the best of me. I'm ready, then I'm not, then I'm ready, then I'm not! I don't know that I will be ready, but I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be.
The overwhelming support in the past few weeks has climaxed. It humbles me terribly to see just how many people support and love me! Thank you.
I wont lie, I am missing my Tori Girl. She has been, from the beginning, one of the driving forces behind my positive attitude. She won't be here for another 28 days. I can't wait.
Keisha,once she got home, was a huge support and a FOOD Nazi. :)
She and Matt will be at the hospital with me, waiting with the beeper. Cribbage could be on their plate. Three hours of it, at least! lol..
Billy and I had a great talk about nutrition last night. I love the fact that he is interested.
Kohl, I think, he's nervous for me, but hasn't really said much.
Ilove, adore, and appreciate you all for the support and listening to me ramble on about all of this. Your support means the world to me.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
HALF WAY!
Five down! Five to go! I can't believe then end of the beginning is almost here! I've managed to get through the first five days in one piece. The first three were really the hardest, but now its like no big deal!
here I am.. No weight this week.. scale needs batteries.. Here's hoping its going down.. STILL.
I hope to be able to keep adding pictures as I go along down in weight. It is going to come off very quickly
They say about 25 pounds a month if not more.. By Christmas, they (the doctors) say to expect to be HALF of where I am at. HALF.. can't imagine.
Five more days!!!!!!!!!!!!
here I am.. No weight this week.. scale needs batteries.. Here's hoping its going down.. STILL.
Five more days!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Day Three..... Seven to go!
I've geared myself up for so long for this and its really here! REALLY! I did this back in November, it should be easy, right? WRONG! I'm struggling more this time than ever before! I've come this far, I should be able to just do it. One would think. I'm doing it, but its definitely not easy! Seven more days. I don't miss chewing, not really! I find myself wanting to eat when I'm BORED! Wonder if this means I've been bored most of my adult life?! If that is the case, I need to not be bored anymore and whoop it up!
Here's to change.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Surgery Date Set.
First I just want to thank ALL of you (I have 11 followers, but I know there are more who are reading) who have been supportive of me on this journey that I started 11 months ago. Ia feel like I need to explain a few things to those of you who read this and support me (& even those who don't). May 7th, I will undergo a Sleeve Gastrectomy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeve_gastrectomy. I went for my pre-op exam. 307.6 is the next to final weight. I must continue to lose in the next two weeks. It should really be easy. Liquid diet (the one I did in November) will commence for TWO weeks on Friday, April 27th. Which is why I have been asking for low fat/ high protein soup recipes.
This journey over the last 11 months has just been the beginning of a life long commitment to getting healthier and staying healthy! My decision to do this was not entered lightly. I didn't do this to "get skinny." I chose this path because I kept yo-yo'ing back and forth in my weight and when I peaked 300 pounds I just gave up trying. My primary physician suggested this to me over two years ago, but I declined then. I didn't get this way from surgery, I was not go to reverse it with surgery. Then a bunch of health problems started to loom due to my OVER 50% BMI. Cholesterol was rising, High Sugar reared its ugly head. A heart murmur had developed. I was unable to bend over and tie my shoes (I know, I know.. laugh cuz I don't wear them, but in the winter one must), couldn't put on my sox without becoming out of breath, forget getting off the floor without a struggle, couldn't sit cross legged on the floor, had to buy "re-enforced" furniture for the summer. I didn't want this for myself anymore. I want to be able to see ALL of my children grown and be successful.
So for those of you who are in great support, without judgement and are asking about it. I appreciate it in more ways than you can imagine. I thank you for caring, for listening to me about my journey, struggle, successes. Like I said, Friday I will begin the real journey. Please feel free to ask questions, lend support, keep me in your prayers for my success over the next few weeks into months. Positive energy, thoughts, and prayers are always welcome. This girl will transform into HALF the body I am now, but NOT half the person.
If you disagree, I'm sorry I don't have your support and that you disagree with my choice. Please keep the negativity to yourself.
for a "picture" of how this will look.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjxFjI69bEI
Love to you all! <3
This journey over the last 11 months has just been the beginning of a life long commitment to getting healthier and staying healthy! My decision to do this was not entered lightly. I didn't do this to "get skinny." I chose this path because I kept yo-yo'ing back and forth in my weight and when I peaked 300 pounds I just gave up trying. My primary physician suggested this to me over two years ago, but I declined then. I didn't get this way from surgery, I was not go to reverse it with surgery. Then a bunch of health problems started to loom due to my OVER 50% BMI. Cholesterol was rising, High Sugar reared its ugly head. A heart murmur had developed. I was unable to bend over and tie my shoes (I know, I know.. laugh cuz I don't wear them, but in the winter one must), couldn't put on my sox without becoming out of breath, forget getting off the floor without a struggle, couldn't sit cross legged on the floor, had to buy "re-enforced" furniture for the summer. I didn't want this for myself anymore. I want to be able to see ALL of my children grown and be successful.
So for those of you who are in great support, without judgement and are asking about it. I appreciate it in more ways than you can imagine. I thank you for caring, for listening to me about my journey, struggle, successes. Like I said, Friday I will begin the real journey. Please feel free to ask questions, lend support, keep me in your prayers for my success over the next few weeks into months. Positive energy, thoughts, and prayers are always welcome. This girl will transform into HALF the body I am now, but NOT half the person.
If you disagree, I'm sorry I don't have your support and that you disagree with my choice. Please keep the negativity to yourself.
for a "picture" of how this will look.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjxFjI69bEI
Love to you all! <3
Sunday, April 8, 2012
307.4 and a date in place
Its been a wild ride the past few months. I just realized I haven't said anything, well not published anyway.. i've written, but just didnt post.. So I've posted my those past two posts today.. Probably because I went backwards and was so disappointed in myself that I didnt want to disappoint anybody else either, but since I started this journey LAST June I've managed to come full circle and realize........I've done it. Hit my weight goal and still working at it. And when I mean working at it,, it truly is just the beginning of work. Probably the hardest I've ever worked at anything in my life. This is serious business.
I've done it! I've made my weight goal and have been approved with a date in place. It all just came to be so real yesterday. My emotions, as if they weren't enough already, ran away with me IN the car none the less; so I really couldn't go anywhere to hide, and once again, there were pieces to be picked up,doubts to be reassured of. I am truly blessed with family I have. . I truly do have a great support system in place.
I do need to say this...... I am doing this for HEALTH reasons and for ME. I'm not doing it to get "skinny" or so others will like me or so I dont have to work at maintaining. This is not the goal, just a step towards the goal. I will have to work harder to maintain. So if I seem less than receptive to your comments, its because I've heard some pretty negative things about this whole idea for me and honestly I dont need it. So if you dont agree with my decision or want to be genuinely supportive then dont say anything
I will keep those of you subscribed updated as I venture through. I love those of you who are in my corner!
<3
I've done it! I've made my weight goal and have been approved with a date in place. It all just came to be so real yesterday. My emotions, as if they weren't enough already, ran away with me IN the car none the less; so I really couldn't go anywhere to hide, and once again, there were pieces to be picked up,doubts to be reassured of. I am truly blessed with family I have. . I truly do have a great support system in place.
I do need to say this...... I am doing this for HEALTH reasons and for ME. I'm not doing it to get "skinny" or so others will like me or so I dont have to work at maintaining. This is not the goal, just a step towards the goal. I will have to work harder to maintain. So if I seem less than receptive to your comments, its because I've heard some pretty negative things about this whole idea for me and honestly I dont need it. So if you dont agree with my decision or want to be genuinely supportive then dont say anything
I will keep those of you subscribed updated as I venture through. I love those of you who are in my corner!
<3
Monday, January 16, 2012
311.5...........
Well, I managed to make it through the holidays and am currently a 1/2 pound away from my doctor's goal of 15 pound weight loss. Last appointment (before Christmas, I hadn't lost any weight and they were pleased with that). They said if I maintained my weight through the holidays, they would be happy. well I managed to lose a half a pound.
The past two months (since I haven't blogged since November) have been very stressful. My mom went with me to my December appointment. She got to ask questions and meet the surgeon. I was thankful that both she and Matt wend with me on this visit.
The holidays, family deaths, friends (2) diagnosis of cancer and a very busy work place. I have been not committed to exercise as I should be nor have I been in the "mood" for losing weight, but some how I managed to do it.
Today I saw the nutritionist and the PA at the clinic and they advised me they dropped my weight loss goal from the 33 pounds down to the 16 pounds. I was shocked, surprised, disappointed and upset. I know this doesnt make much sense, but let me explain.
Shocked.... They told me from the beginning I had to lose 10% of my total body weight. They some how decided that 5% was enough and I have dropped my BMI below 50%. UGH! Not by much, but I have done it. Small successes should be celebrated (I guess).
Surprised: Well because they had told me originally 33 pounds not 16. I didnt think I would ever get there. I have been working hard, but not as hard as I probably should. I was losing faith in myself quickly. I was wondering if it was worth the challenge. Somebody else had enough faith in me, I guess.
Disappointed: I truly expected to lose 33 pounds and feel like maybe they think I cant do this. Can I? Is that why they reduced it! They say no. I have plateaued once again and they see this and recognize what I have done. 15 pounds, in MY opinion, is not a lot. They say it is, but I say it is NOT.
Upset: Really, I CAN do this. Just give me a chance to do it. Wait, I dont have to have their permission to lose the extra 15 pounds, I can do this without it. Right!?
So They will submit me to the insurance for Pre-certification/ authorization in the next few weeks. Once this happens there are two options. YES : D or No :(. And this waiting period will take about 3-5 weeks before we get an answer. Once the answer has been given, we will have two routes to go. Appeal the NO. or move forward with the surgery date which could be 4-10 weeks out from the approval. Again, is this all worth is? I know this is a permenant deal. I just feel some days I am standing in a corner alone with this dilema and choice.
So here I am 15.5 pounds less than I was when i started this adventure. Here's to another month of hard work, eating properly and working to attain my goal.
<3
The past two months (since I haven't blogged since November) have been very stressful. My mom went with me to my December appointment. She got to ask questions and meet the surgeon. I was thankful that both she and Matt wend with me on this visit.
The holidays, family deaths, friends (2) diagnosis of cancer and a very busy work place. I have been not committed to exercise as I should be nor have I been in the "mood" for losing weight, but some how I managed to do it.
Today I saw the nutritionist and the PA at the clinic and they advised me they dropped my weight loss goal from the 33 pounds down to the 16 pounds. I was shocked, surprised, disappointed and upset. I know this doesnt make much sense, but let me explain.
Shocked.... They told me from the beginning I had to lose 10% of my total body weight. They some how decided that 5% was enough and I have dropped my BMI below 50%. UGH! Not by much, but I have done it. Small successes should be celebrated (I guess).
Surprised: Well because they had told me originally 33 pounds not 16. I didnt think I would ever get there. I have been working hard, but not as hard as I probably should. I was losing faith in myself quickly. I was wondering if it was worth the challenge. Somebody else had enough faith in me, I guess.
Disappointed: I truly expected to lose 33 pounds and feel like maybe they think I cant do this. Can I? Is that why they reduced it! They say no. I have plateaued once again and they see this and recognize what I have done. 15 pounds, in MY opinion, is not a lot. They say it is, but I say it is NOT.
Upset: Really, I CAN do this. Just give me a chance to do it. Wait, I dont have to have their permission to lose the extra 15 pounds, I can do this without it. Right!?
So They will submit me to the insurance for Pre-certification/ authorization in the next few weeks. Once this happens there are two options. YES : D or No :(. And this waiting period will take about 3-5 weeks before we get an answer. Once the answer has been given, we will have two routes to go. Appeal the NO. or move forward with the surgery date which could be 4-10 weeks out from the approval. Again, is this all worth is? I know this is a permenant deal. I just feel some days I am standing in a corner alone with this dilema and choice.
So here I am 15.5 pounds less than I was when i started this adventure. Here's to another month of hard work, eating properly and working to attain my goal.
<3
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Thirsty Thursday............. is OVER
At the beginning of these three days, I wasn't sure I would survive it. Chewing is such a big part of my every day, but the last three days; drinking, drinking, drinking and NO chewing. Try it.. it gives you a whole new outlook on eating.
From these last three days I've learned a few things. I like to CHEW. I have learned (I knew it was there, but it really poured in) I have the most amazing support system I could ask for, both here and virtual. Thank you all for your encouragement.
Tuesday, I didnt think I was going to even make it through the day and half way through Wednesday I was like.. I got this.. And this morning I was thinking.. Is it really gonna be over today?! Yep, and I cant wait to eat tomorrow. Although my breakfast is packed and consists of what I have had for the last three days! I've also learned to analyze EVERYTHING I eat in the form of calories, carbs, protein and fats. I never realized it and wasn't sure I could even do it, but ya know what. Its easy now. I know they say 21 days makes it a habit. I only have 18 more to make it so, then it will be routine!
I have also realized that I LOVE to cook for my family and while it was hard.. It was awesome!
I've finished up my liquid days (for now) with a Greek Yogurt Skim Black Raspberry smoothie :) as a treat to me. I DID it. Im tired now from stressing about it the past three very LONG days, but I did it.
Monday is weigh in day, I'm a lil nervous about this appointment, but it is what it is. This past month has been a little hard and the exercise has not been up to par! Here's hoping the scales tip in my favor.
Love to you all <3
From these last three days I've learned a few things. I like to CHEW. I have learned (I knew it was there, but it really poured in) I have the most amazing support system I could ask for, both here and virtual. Thank you all for your encouragement.
Tuesday, I didnt think I was going to even make it through the day and half way through Wednesday I was like.. I got this.. And this morning I was thinking.. Is it really gonna be over today?! Yep, and I cant wait to eat tomorrow. Although my breakfast is packed and consists of what I have had for the last three days! I've also learned to analyze EVERYTHING I eat in the form of calories, carbs, protein and fats. I never realized it and wasn't sure I could even do it, but ya know what. Its easy now. I know they say 21 days makes it a habit. I only have 18 more to make it so, then it will be routine!
I have also realized that I LOVE to cook for my family and while it was hard.. It was awesome!
I've finished up my liquid days (for now) with a Greek Yogurt Skim Black Raspberry smoothie :) as a treat to me. I DID it. Im tired now from stressing about it the past three very LONG days, but I did it.
Monday is weigh in day, I'm a lil nervous about this appointment, but it is what it is. This past month has been a little hard and the exercise has not been up to par! Here's hoping the scales tip in my favor.
Love to you all <3
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