Happy New Year,
It has been several years since I have blogged in regards to my weight loss journey. It wasn't until recently that I'd really thought about my journey to where I am today. A friend of mine, who found out I had gone through surgery asked me about it. She was thinking about it, I gave her my thoughts both good and bad experiences and told her I would support her no matter the route she took. its not for everybody, especially if you go into it thinking, "hey I'm gonna get skinny!" Wrong answer.
My journey goes so far back and looking back at it.. over 8 years ago I had begun this journey. From 386 pounds down to 176 pounds. Mind you, my weight fluctuates like everybody else's does. I've gone as high at 199, but never over that. When it crept that high I freaked out and went back to the basics. I'm proud to say that I am a steady 176 pounds, but like i said I go up and go down, but pretty much maintain where I am at.
Over the last four years, I became a grandmother, graduated from Nursing school, worked in my field in a private duty capacity, and mentored others who have either had surgery and are struggling, or been the support team who are considering it. I have made some great friends because of this commonality and lost some who became resentful of my success. My success does not mean I did not struggle, it just means I have remembered to use my tool box. I regret none of it.
Our catering business has probably thrived because of it We (I) only cater a few events a year. I cant eat a lot of what I cater, so I feed. I'm good at it. I am a natural food pusher, just ask my husband and children. I love to feed! I have recently expanded our catering to private meals for shut ins who can not cook for themselves and for those who do not wish to cook due to their ages. I love this. I can cook a variety of meals with a ton of restrictions and enjoy every challenge. Ive learned how to make my own crackers!
At home I am still a food Nazi, but have backed off comparatively since 2017! I still do all the meal planning (with suggestions of course from those who eat what is cooked), I do the shopping, but I do not do all of the prep. Matt has picked up that aspect of it. I am grateful for that. We eat healthy. We are virtually a pasta free household. There was a little bit if hesitancy about it, but now its ritual so no problems. We eat junk. I have learned that everything can be eaten but always in moderation. I deprive my self of nothing at all. It creates bad habits and binges, both of which I do not need.
I have come to learn that I can eat whatever I want but my body always tells me how it feels about it. With that said, I avoid milk ( I drink lactose free milk), I avoid pasta and breads, most things gluten filled, ground hamburger unless it is the good stuff, but I'm too cheap to pay for that so I often dont), As well as corn and rice. I love steak and chocolate cake (both of which I had no desire to eat 8 years ago). I eat pizza minus the dough and crust most times. If you want to see something fun, watch that, just ask my 19 year old son. He laughs ever time. I eat cookies and all kinds of sweets, but always in moderation. I still dont eat celery! I listen to my body. Even if I do not listen, I pay for it within 30 minutes. Its not fun or fun to watch (so i am told).
I look at other who are on a weight loss journey and see all the successes. I wished I could have been successful on these programs like Jennie Craig, Weight Watchers, Atkins, paleo, yada yada, and so on. I tried it all. Why didnt these work for me. I found out about 4 years ago it had something to do with my cortisol levels being too high and being insulin resistant. Everything carb loaded turned to sugar and was stored for "later usage." This comes from training your body for years through binge and purge and deprivation. Do I feel bad? Sometimes yes. I feel bad that I my body didn't have the courage or motivation to do what I needed to do on its own, but she just wasn't' having it. I REGRET nothing in this journey.
My Cholesterol was 589 at its highest on meds, and now its 187. My BGS was always so high, I refused to take it and now its maintained and I feel good. The only side effect I really endured was major hair loss, which is why I went from long locks to a pixie cut! I have tried multiple times to grow it out and it always comes out in clumps. So I always go back to the pixie. Again this weekend I am headed there!
It seems I'm just rambling at this point, so I will close it up and Say Happy New Year and if you need a support system for weight loss,, FIND ME! I'm here.
Bonnie
Monday, December 30, 2019
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Hell Yeah! Happy & Healthy in 2016
Happy Holidays
I just gave this link to a friend who is considering this surgery and realized that I had not written in 2 years. I guess I felt that I didn't need to detail my journey any more, but others are still reading and checking, but since Ive last posted I know that at least three of my friends have had the sleeve, and one had to undergo a full bypass as his sleeve failed. He also had the skin removal surgery. A surgery I teeter with weekly.
I have made some great friends who have walked this journey after me. They get it. Its nice to have that sometimes and sometimes I am glad people don't know where I use to be. I am ashamed that I let myself get there and have vowed to never get there again. Ever. A healthier me is my moto now. I'm happy to answering any questions or offer any support to those who are thinking of this journey, are walking this journey and need a pep talk, have had the surgery and need some reassurance that this was the right decision or just have been post op and need to compare notes. I will never pretend I know anything or what is right for you, I just know what is right for me and what worked for me. My email: momofkvkwa@facebook.
The last two years have been quite the journey! Let me start off by saying I am 182 pounds, which is 5 pounds less than it was at 18 months post op (my last blog post). Im holding my own. In the summer it drops about 15 pounds due to more activity, but I maintain and I'm ok with that.
I have learned what I can eat, what I can't eat, what I'm intolerable to and what I absolutely can't live without. I've also learned what I HATE and LOVE now. Its amazing how your taste changes after the surgery. Be prepared for it. I wasn't. Nobody warned me. I'm warning you.
I do not attend the FAHC support group meetings, they just dont work in my schedule, although I should go. I may make a difference for somebody else. I didnt have that and wished I did.
I have since gotten married, as most of you know in 2014 in a size 12 dress and went bra-less. What a feeling that was. There were cups built in, but no bra. . Never in my life have i ever been bra-less for any other reason than being lazy and not caring. lol . I have completed my third Semester at Norwich and am half way into my 5 year schooling to get my BSN. Food during school is definitely a challenge as I constantly still eat every 2 hours, so I am always eating in class it seems. Many of my classmates have no idea that I've been on this journey and probably think I just like to ALWAYS eat. I do, but I eat differently now.
I started running 2-3 times a week in the summer time about 2 -3 miles a wack. Anything more and I'm toast and get bored with it. Im not always good about running weekly nor am I good about faithfully exercising, but I am very active even if not in "structured exercise."
Last summer 2015, I ran the Dirty Girl 5k mud run in Killington. I ran it alone, but like this journey I had tremendous support again for my crazy idea. I ran it in approximately 45 minutes. I was so proud of myself. Who would have thought this fat girl would run a race. They were so proud of me and that was probably more important that I made them proud then actually completing it in record time. Next year I have recruited at least two that I know of already, to run with me. I am very excited.
I wont lie, this surgery saved my life, made me become a food nazi at everbody (which I believe I was entitled to force my new eating habits on to and wasn't), but it gave me a new lease on life. I have more energy to keep up with all of my children. I can wear cute underwear and sweaters. While all those seem really insignificant to many people, they are really huge NSV goals to me.
There are days that I wear those XL sweat pants and tshirt just so I dont have to go anywhere and can be comfortable again and blend into the crowd. Mind you I never leave the house in those clothes, but you get my drift. I try my best to be supportive and sensitive of those walking this journey. I was there, I know how it feels to be discouraged, to beat yourself up, and feel unworthy of this loss.
The other thing I won't lie about is, I still look in the mirror and see that fat girl every day. Its very hard to get my brain to not see her. She was like that for 20 years. I was comfortable hiding behind her. Now I have had to stand up, be accountable for all aspects of my life and watch everything as others often watch me. I didnt ask for that, it just happened. So I do my best to tuck my fat girl in my back pocket and let the new me shine through.
Happy 2016! Here's to a healthier YOU.
I just gave this link to a friend who is considering this surgery and realized that I had not written in 2 years. I guess I felt that I didn't need to detail my journey any more, but others are still reading and checking, but since Ive last posted I know that at least three of my friends have had the sleeve, and one had to undergo a full bypass as his sleeve failed. He also had the skin removal surgery. A surgery I teeter with weekly.
I have made some great friends who have walked this journey after me. They get it. Its nice to have that sometimes and sometimes I am glad people don't know where I use to be. I am ashamed that I let myself get there and have vowed to never get there again. Ever. A healthier me is my moto now. I'm happy to answering any questions or offer any support to those who are thinking of this journey, are walking this journey and need a pep talk, have had the surgery and need some reassurance that this was the right decision or just have been post op and need to compare notes. I will never pretend I know anything or what is right for you, I just know what is right for me and what worked for me. My email: momofkvkwa@facebook.
The last two years have been quite the journey! Let me start off by saying I am 182 pounds, which is 5 pounds less than it was at 18 months post op (my last blog post). Im holding my own. In the summer it drops about 15 pounds due to more activity, but I maintain and I'm ok with that.
I have learned what I can eat, what I can't eat, what I'm intolerable to and what I absolutely can't live without. I've also learned what I HATE and LOVE now. Its amazing how your taste changes after the surgery. Be prepared for it. I wasn't. Nobody warned me. I'm warning you.
I do not attend the FAHC support group meetings, they just dont work in my schedule, although I should go. I may make a difference for somebody else. I didnt have that and wished I did.
I have since gotten married, as most of you know in 2014 in a size 12 dress and went bra-less. What a feeling that was. There were cups built in, but no bra. . Never in my life have i ever been bra-less for any other reason than being lazy and not caring. lol . I have completed my third Semester at Norwich and am half way into my 5 year schooling to get my BSN. Food during school is definitely a challenge as I constantly still eat every 2 hours, so I am always eating in class it seems. Many of my classmates have no idea that I've been on this journey and probably think I just like to ALWAYS eat. I do, but I eat differently now.
I started running 2-3 times a week in the summer time about 2 -3 miles a wack. Anything more and I'm toast and get bored with it. Im not always good about running weekly nor am I good about faithfully exercising, but I am very active even if not in "structured exercise."
Last summer 2015, I ran the Dirty Girl 5k mud run in Killington. I ran it alone, but like this journey I had tremendous support again for my crazy idea. I ran it in approximately 45 minutes. I was so proud of myself. Who would have thought this fat girl would run a race. They were so proud of me and that was probably more important that I made them proud then actually completing it in record time. Next year I have recruited at least two that I know of already, to run with me. I am very excited.
I wont lie, this surgery saved my life, made me become a food nazi at everbody (which I believe I was entitled to force my new eating habits on to and wasn't), but it gave me a new lease on life. I have more energy to keep up with all of my children. I can wear cute underwear and sweaters. While all those seem really insignificant to many people, they are really huge NSV goals to me.
There are days that I wear those XL sweat pants and tshirt just so I dont have to go anywhere and can be comfortable again and blend into the crowd. Mind you I never leave the house in those clothes, but you get my drift. I try my best to be supportive and sensitive of those walking this journey. I was there, I know how it feels to be discouraged, to beat yourself up, and feel unworthy of this loss.
The other thing I won't lie about is, I still look in the mirror and see that fat girl every day. Its very hard to get my brain to not see her. She was like that for 20 years. I was comfortable hiding behind her. Now I have had to stand up, be accountable for all aspects of my life and watch everything as others often watch me. I didnt ask for that, it just happened. So I do my best to tuck my fat girl in my back pocket and let the new me shine through.
Happy 2016! Here's to a healthier YOU.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
18 Months Post -Op,
Happy Holidays -
I apologize for the long delay of an entry, but my life has taken a huge spin about and I've not had time.
So as most of you know, I am 18 months post op and have inspired FIVE of my friends to journey down the WLS road as well. All I can do is be supportive and cheer them on. I am willing to help those who want to help themselves. Know that WLS is not for everybody, sometimes diet & exercise is enough.
The first holiday of this season was extremely difficult for me to manage, believe it or not. I managed to get through it and MANAGED to even hit more than 1200 calories that day without exploding. Its all about portion, moderation, and timing.
Since this surgery, I've managed to switch from eating good snacks to being a choco-holic, but with severe moderation. I have maintained my weight since August and am please as is the Doctor. I still struggle with thin hair due to lack of protein requirements in my diet as well as Vit D deficiency and Vit B6 & 12, but those can be fixed with daily supplements.
With Winter upon us, I can start to get out and do some snow shoeing. I'm so very excited.
Just thought I would pop in and wish all of my followers a Merry Christmas.
Here is an updated frontal comparison as well as side views.
Hugs,
Bonnie
.jpg)
I apologize for the long delay of an entry, but my life has taken a huge spin about and I've not had time.
So as most of you know, I am 18 months post op and have inspired FIVE of my friends to journey down the WLS road as well. All I can do is be supportive and cheer them on. I am willing to help those who want to help themselves. Know that WLS is not for everybody, sometimes diet & exercise is enough.
The first holiday of this season was extremely difficult for me to manage, believe it or not. I managed to get through it and MANAGED to even hit more than 1200 calories that day without exploding. Its all about portion, moderation, and timing.
Since this surgery, I've managed to switch from eating good snacks to being a choco-holic, but with severe moderation. I have maintained my weight since August and am please as is the Doctor. I still struggle with thin hair due to lack of protein requirements in my diet as well as Vit D deficiency and Vit B6 & 12, but those can be fixed with daily supplements.
With Winter upon us, I can start to get out and do some snow shoeing. I'm so very excited.
Just thought I would pop in and wish all of my followers a Merry Christmas.
Here is an updated frontal comparison as well as side views.
Hugs,
Bonnie
.jpg)
Friday, May 10, 2013
12 Months and 3 days Post op VSG - no Regrets!
Hello,
Its been since November 2012 that I wrote last. Six months Post op. That seems like ages ago. I'm sure my entries will be come less and less as time goes on.
Today, I am 169.8 pounds! :) that would be 159 pounds LESS than I was when I started my journey, for those of you counting pounds.
June 10, 2011 @ 331 pounds February 17, 2013 @ 181 pounds
I'm ecstatic. I can't believe how great I feel, how I look, and how awesome my support system still is. I've become a support people too for several people in various states of a gastric surgery or weight loss.. I am helping them (I hope). I was blessed with the tools and a second chance on life. I want to pay it forward. I don't pretend to be a know it all, I just know what I know and what works for me. I will never say it will work for you. I can only share my experience. I've had some ask for help and take it. I've had some ask for help and not take it. Those who've asked and took it have been successful, no matter the route they've taken. Those who have failed have probably lied to me and themselves. I'm not offended or upset. You have to want this. You are the maker of your own destiny. YOU control your own life. If you lie to yourself when it comes to what you eat, how you eat, and why you eat, then you lie to ONLY yourself and nobody else. Until you are honest with yourself, you can not make the change. I was there once.
I have managed to accomplish a lot of Firsts in the second half of my year. I've fit into a kayak without squeeeezing into it, I've played broom ball, went snowshoeing, gone ice skating with my children, started running three days a week with the help of couch to 5K with TIED shoes, I went on the water slide at Jay Peak Pump House without worrying about the weight limit, I BOUGHT a real bathing suit (not just shorts and a tank top), and I hiked Hunger Mountain. I did it! All of those things, with doubts and apprehension, but I did it.
My yearly check ups went great. I followed up with my Surgeon as well as my primary physician. I mainly went to my primary to thank her for the push. She pushed me once and I bucked her because I was lying to myself. The second push from her was not bucked. I thanked her at this visit in many tears of happiness. For those of you wondering... There are NO regrets, even though I've had a few side effects, but what's to regret? SO what I lost my thick hair, I got a great new hair cut :) and So what if my Vitamin B12 is in the toilet.. Its just a needle once a month. But, my cholesterol has dropped drastically as well. The good is coming up and the bad is going down. My weight loss has slowed/plateaued and now I've started to build muscle :) Yeah me! The picture above was taken April 26, 2013 near my one year surgeversary
I've probably added 10 or more years onto my life. I enjoy every day as the gift that it is. There are challenges and struggles that go along with this, but ya know what? I'm alive! I'm healthier. I will get to grow old with the one I love and enjoy being a grandmother, (Eventually). I have so much to be thankful for.
I will admit that I did become a bit of a food Nazi around the holidays and after it was pointed out to me multiple times, I toned it down and eventually all together stopped being vocal about it. I guess I was just so excited to be so healthy I got carried away. I wanted everybody around me to be healthier too. Ya know... They are! I guess part of me was jealous which I why I was so Nazi-ish. They were eating sweets and junk, as much as they wanted and when they wanted without a worry. I missed that, but I did really well. I did eat some of it.. Some of it I paid for and some I did not.
I am frequently asked now, 'Can you eat this? Can you eat that?' The answer is "YES." I can eat whatever I want. Does it agree with me? Not always, but I never refuse myself anything. That's where you get in trouble. I eat what I want when I want just knowing the consequences and prepared to deal with them.
In fact my tastes have changed drastically. for those of you who know me.. I never did chocolate, sweets, or steak. Well, Now I don't do milk, bread, rice, or complex starches regularly either, but give the chance for chocolate cake or a piece of steak.. You betcha! All in moderation of course.
Again I thank all of my friends and extended family for your constant support and encouragement during this journey. I especially thank my immediate family for putting up with all the Nazi business AND my frustrations, discouragement, and whining. Without you being there to keep me strong and steadfast, I would not be on the right track and I would be standing alone! I love you all
With Chocolate Kisses,
Bonnie
Its been since November 2012 that I wrote last. Six months Post op. That seems like ages ago. I'm sure my entries will be come less and less as time goes on.
Today, I am 169.8 pounds! :) that would be 159 pounds LESS than I was when I started my journey, for those of you counting pounds.
I'm ecstatic. I can't believe how great I feel, how I look, and how awesome my support system still is. I've become a support people too for several people in various states of a gastric surgery or weight loss.. I am helping them (I hope). I was blessed with the tools and a second chance on life. I want to pay it forward. I don't pretend to be a know it all, I just know what I know and what works for me. I will never say it will work for you. I can only share my experience. I've had some ask for help and take it. I've had some ask for help and not take it. Those who've asked and took it have been successful, no matter the route they've taken. Those who have failed have probably lied to me and themselves. I'm not offended or upset. You have to want this. You are the maker of your own destiny. YOU control your own life. If you lie to yourself when it comes to what you eat, how you eat, and why you eat, then you lie to ONLY yourself and nobody else. Until you are honest with yourself, you can not make the change. I was there once.
I have managed to accomplish a lot of Firsts in the second half of my year. I've fit into a kayak without squeeeezing into it, I've played broom ball, went snowshoeing, gone ice skating with my children, started running three days a week with the help of couch to 5K with TIED shoes, I went on the water slide at Jay Peak Pump House without worrying about the weight limit, I BOUGHT a real bathing suit (not just shorts and a tank top), and I hiked Hunger Mountain. I did it! All of those things, with doubts and apprehension, but I did it.My yearly check ups went great. I followed up with my Surgeon as well as my primary physician. I mainly went to my primary to thank her for the push. She pushed me once and I bucked her because I was lying to myself. The second push from her was not bucked. I thanked her at this visit in many tears of happiness. For those of you wondering... There are NO regrets, even though I've had a few side effects, but what's to regret? SO what I lost my thick hair, I got a great new hair cut :) and So what if my Vitamin B12 is in the toilet.. Its just a needle once a month. But, my cholesterol has dropped drastically as well. The good is coming up and the bad is going down. My weight loss has slowed/plateaued and now I've started to build muscle :) Yeah me! The picture above was taken April 26, 2013 near my one year surgeversary
I've probably added 10 or more years onto my life. I enjoy every day as the gift that it is. There are challenges and struggles that go along with this, but ya know what? I'm alive! I'm healthier. I will get to grow old with the one I love and enjoy being a grandmother, (Eventually). I have so much to be thankful for.
I will admit that I did become a bit of a food Nazi around the holidays and after it was pointed out to me multiple times, I toned it down and eventually all together stopped being vocal about it. I guess I was just so excited to be so healthy I got carried away. I wanted everybody around me to be healthier too. Ya know... They are! I guess part of me was jealous which I why I was so Nazi-ish. They were eating sweets and junk, as much as they wanted and when they wanted without a worry. I missed that, but I did really well. I did eat some of it.. Some of it I paid for and some I did not.
I am frequently asked now, 'Can you eat this? Can you eat that?' The answer is "YES." I can eat whatever I want. Does it agree with me? Not always, but I never refuse myself anything. That's where you get in trouble. I eat what I want when I want just knowing the consequences and prepared to deal with them.
In fact my tastes have changed drastically. for those of you who know me.. I never did chocolate, sweets, or steak. Well, Now I don't do milk, bread, rice, or complex starches regularly either, but give the chance for chocolate cake or a piece of steak.. You betcha! All in moderation of course.
Again I thank all of my friends and extended family for your constant support and encouragement during this journey. I especially thank my immediate family for putting up with all the Nazi business AND my frustrations, discouragement, and whining. Without you being there to keep me strong and steadfast, I would not be on the right track and I would be standing alone! I love you all
With Chocolate Kisses,
Bonnie
Friday, November 9, 2012
Six month four day- post op!
Six months Post Op!
Well today I weighed in being 6 months and 4 days out. 207!!! Not quite below 200 which was my six month goal, butHaven't seen this in months, heck; YEARS. Who am I kidding?! 124 total since the beginning and 100 # from surgery date!! Excited? You bet! Considering they advised 80 pounds is the norm in the first year!
It's amazing the people that drive right by me because the just don't recognize me or people who don't wave for the same reason. Heck my own mother drove right by me cuz she thought "somebody else" was driving a car that looked like mine. It's ok, I don't recognize me either.
I have to share what happened to me just yesterday. I was asked, when I was at CVMC to get blood drawn if my personality changed; mind you my youngest daughter was with me ( my physical support person - one of them through all of this) .. Anyway, simultaneously we answer " she says 'YES' and me? I say no!! Lol. We both laugh and then I look at her confused - STILL IN FRONT OF THE REGISTRATION PERSON She simply says " she's Much happier". My heart melted. It's true. I'm happy with me, loose flabby skin, missing belly button and all! Healthier! The new me! This woman proceeded to talk to us about wanting to do this herself, but had no support. Before I could say anything, my youngest daughter says to her "Ill be YOURS! I'll go with you every step if the way". Needless to say this woman and myself were moved to tears for two entirely different reasons! How proud I was!
Keep in mind The last six months have NOT come without challenges, but the successes outweigh those Ten to One (10:1. )
I often get asked "what, if anything, do I regret about this surgery/ process?" My answer: NOTHING! The only challenge I constantly have is I've yet to find a food that cures the 'need' to eat. You know that comfort food the one that satisfies. Haven't found it. I HAVE found my sweet tooth :/ which I NEVER HAD. For those of you that are thinking " oh no!" No worries, two pieces of dove bar and I'm done. :). If The fat content in anything is higher than 4g- my body throws a fit, therefore I stay away, but it's soo worth it The only issue I hate and am trying to really grasp ahold of is the major amount if hair loss. But hey, what's a lil clogging drain or rats nest hair brush!? Lol. Biotin and B complex overload is my best friend these days.
I worried in the past I'd fail, but I don't anymore I'd slip back. I listen to my body (as I always have) and pay the price if I don't. This is a LIFESTYLE change not a quick fix. In fact, I've taken over all the grocery shopping AND food preparation at home. oh don't worry, Matt still cooks but with me by his side AFTER I've / we've shopped. Lol. Makes him crazy but it needs to happen.
Another question I get asked is "what can you eat?" I'm just like you I can eat whatever I want. Just depends on whether I want the consequences or not. If I don't eat it, it's because I don't want the consequences,it's not because I can't. Did you think is give up grilled cheese forever!? Haha - you're funny. Once a month (due to bread and fats) I treat myself - yes I do pay but I do treat myself to half a sandwich :).
I've managed to now run 2 miles, walk 4.5miles and hike more! All without struggling. My middle son and I fave plans for some XC skiing this winter as well as some snowshoeing! how excited am i to be able to wear ski pants. :) with all this exercise I hope to tone and prep my cardio for the spring.
My goal is to run the Sap Run @ Maple Festival time in April 2013, but my first running attempt, I think will be is going to be the one mile Reindeer Run in St Albans December 6th. :).
Well today I weighed in being 6 months and 4 days out. 207!!! Not quite below 200 which was my six month goal, butHaven't seen this in months, heck; YEARS. Who am I kidding?! 124 total since the beginning and 100 # from surgery date!! Excited? You bet! Considering they advised 80 pounds is the norm in the first year!
It's amazing the people that drive right by me because the just don't recognize me or people who don't wave for the same reason. Heck my own mother drove right by me cuz she thought "somebody else" was driving a car that looked like mine. It's ok, I don't recognize me either.
I have to share what happened to me just yesterday. I was asked, when I was at CVMC to get blood drawn if my personality changed; mind you my youngest daughter was with me ( my physical support person - one of them through all of this) .. Anyway, simultaneously we answer " she says 'YES' and me? I say no!! Lol. We both laugh and then I look at her confused - STILL IN FRONT OF THE REGISTRATION PERSON She simply says " she's Much happier". My heart melted. It's true. I'm happy with me, loose flabby skin, missing belly button and all! Healthier! The new me! This woman proceeded to talk to us about wanting to do this herself, but had no support. Before I could say anything, my youngest daughter says to her "Ill be YOURS! I'll go with you every step if the way". Needless to say this woman and myself were moved to tears for two entirely different reasons! How proud I was!
Keep in mind The last six months have NOT come without challenges, but the successes outweigh those Ten to One (10:1. )
I often get asked "what, if anything, do I regret about this surgery/ process?" My answer: NOTHING! The only challenge I constantly have is I've yet to find a food that cures the 'need' to eat. You know that comfort food the one that satisfies. Haven't found it. I HAVE found my sweet tooth :/ which I NEVER HAD. For those of you that are thinking " oh no!" No worries, two pieces of dove bar and I'm done. :). If The fat content in anything is higher than 4g- my body throws a fit, therefore I stay away, but it's soo worth it The only issue I hate and am trying to really grasp ahold of is the major amount if hair loss. But hey, what's a lil clogging drain or rats nest hair brush!? Lol. Biotin and B complex overload is my best friend these days.
I worried in the past I'd fail, but I don't anymore I'd slip back. I listen to my body (as I always have) and pay the price if I don't. This is a LIFESTYLE change not a quick fix. In fact, I've taken over all the grocery shopping AND food preparation at home. oh don't worry, Matt still cooks but with me by his side AFTER I've / we've shopped. Lol. Makes him crazy but it needs to happen.
Another question I get asked is "what can you eat?" I'm just like you I can eat whatever I want. Just depends on whether I want the consequences or not. If I don't eat it, it's because I don't want the consequences,it's not because I can't. Did you think is give up grilled cheese forever!? Haha - you're funny. Once a month (due to bread and fats) I treat myself - yes I do pay but I do treat myself to half a sandwich :).
I've managed to now run 2 miles, walk 4.5miles and hike more! All without struggling. My middle son and I fave plans for some XC skiing this winter as well as some snowshoeing! how excited am i to be able to wear ski pants. :) with all this exercise I hope to tone and prep my cardio for the spring.
My goal is to run the Sap Run @ Maple Festival time in April 2013, but my first running attempt, I think will be is going to be the one mile Reindeer Run in St Albans December 6th. :).
Monday, August 13, 2012
14 weeks post op.. challenges loom
It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and I truly apologize. I’ve been a little busy. Work, a 2 year old, August Birthdays AND Matt gone to guard camp, but today (at work) I’ve made time..
For those of you asking and counting ~ 243 as of August 2nd and still coming down. My next professional weigh in is November, right before the Holidays :/ The past fourteen weeks have proved to be a challenge every day, both good and bad equally, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I regret my decision. Say it’s the easy way out, say I cheated.. Say whatever you want, but know doing this was never an easy decision. There are days I question (due to the challenges) myself as to whether I did the right thing and the answer is always the same, but I never regret it.
I am down a total of 88 pounds since June 10, 2011 and since surgery date weigh in, I’m 64.8 pounds down! Yeah for me! Its still coming off to the point where it scares me because of how fast its coming off. The purpose of all this right?! Here’s where the challenges come in.
It does, however, seem like I have MORE of a body image issue now than I ever did when I was morbidly obese. Everybody else is full of praise and wonderment at my transformation, but I only see the flaws, I never saw before. Sounds like it’s time for a support group meeting.
I love the fact that I can get rid of my clothes and buy new ones. Shopping has a whole new meaning. I actually enjoy it. And the new underwear – ah the new underwear.. NO more granny panties.
The types of food I love to eat have ceased to exist. Anything I eat makes me nauseous so I end up drinking my meals for the most part. However, I have discovered steak J and I love it.
I have also for the first time in probably 10 years went hiking on August 4th with my Middle Son, William. What a great feeling. J
And the other night… I watched Extreme Make over Weight Loss Edition. I cried for practically the entire episode. I kept thinking, I went through that, I know how she feels. Did I really look like that and do I look like that now?! Amazing transformation in progress.
june 10, 2011 August 2, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Five weeks and still.........
So I'm five weeks post op and my next appointment isnt until June 21st :/ My home scale is broke and have yet to make it out to purchase a new one! Im hearing lots of nice things from lots of people :)) Thank you all.
For those of you who ask, "Do you notice a difference?" The answer is yes and no. Yes in my clothes. The old ones hang and the new ones are not even anywhere close to what I use to buy, which makes shopping fun! I can shop with my girls on the same side of the store and not "meet up" with them later :))
No.. when I look in the mirror, I dont see the weight coming off, but then again.... I never saw the weight going on either. I never saw myself as 330 pounds. But to look back now.. Holy Shit. So comparing pictures, I see it.
Im struggling some with the diet piece of it. I can eat some soft foods, but then there are some,, Forget it. They just make me vomit. Eating and driving.. NOT AN OPTION! Makes me throw every time :/ so its drink drink drink for me whilst driving. No gum chewing sucks too.
I received a very nice compliment the other day and without even realizing it.. I was told that my story helps so many other people. I dont see it that way, but if you can pull strength ideas from my story then please do so.. I loved knowing that I am helping somebody else. Good for me (this time).
I love all of you who support and follow.
June 9 2011 April 21 2012
June 9, 2012
<3 Bonnie!
For those of you who ask, "Do you notice a difference?" The answer is yes and no. Yes in my clothes. The old ones hang and the new ones are not even anywhere close to what I use to buy, which makes shopping fun! I can shop with my girls on the same side of the store and not "meet up" with them later :))
No.. when I look in the mirror, I dont see the weight coming off, but then again.... I never saw the weight going on either. I never saw myself as 330 pounds. But to look back now.. Holy Shit. So comparing pictures, I see it.
Im struggling some with the diet piece of it. I can eat some soft foods, but then there are some,, Forget it. They just make me vomit. Eating and driving.. NOT AN OPTION! Makes me throw every time :/ so its drink drink drink for me whilst driving. No gum chewing sucks too.
I received a very nice compliment the other day and without even realizing it.. I was told that my story helps so many other people. I dont see it that way, but if you can pull strength ideas from my story then please do so.. I loved knowing that I am helping somebody else. Good for me (this time).
I love all of you who support and follow.
June 9 2011 April 21 2012
June 9, 2012
<3 Bonnie!
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