Happy New Year,
It has been several years since I have blogged in regards to my weight loss journey. It wasn't until recently that I'd really thought about my journey to where I am today. A friend of mine, who found out I had gone through surgery asked me about it. She was thinking about it, I gave her my thoughts both good and bad experiences and told her I would support her no matter the route she took. its not for everybody, especially if you go into it thinking, "hey I'm gonna get skinny!" Wrong answer.
My journey goes so far back and looking back at it.. over 8 years ago I had begun this journey. From 386 pounds down to 176 pounds. Mind you, my weight fluctuates like everybody else's does. I've gone as high at 199, but never over that. When it crept that high I freaked out and went back to the basics. I'm proud to say that I am a steady 176 pounds, but like i said I go up and go down, but pretty much maintain where I am at.
Over the last four years, I became a grandmother, graduated from Nursing school, worked in my field in a private duty capacity, and mentored others who have either had surgery and are struggling, or been the support team who are considering it. I have made some great friends because of this commonality and lost some who became resentful of my success. My success does not mean I did not struggle, it just means I have remembered to use my tool box. I regret none of it.
Our catering business has probably thrived because of it We (I) only cater a few events a year. I cant eat a lot of what I cater, so I feed. I'm good at it. I am a natural food pusher, just ask my husband and children. I love to feed! I have recently expanded our catering to private meals for shut ins who can not cook for themselves and for those who do not wish to cook due to their ages. I love this. I can cook a variety of meals with a ton of restrictions and enjoy every challenge. Ive learned how to make my own crackers!
At home I am still a food Nazi, but have backed off comparatively since 2017! I still do all the meal planning (with suggestions of course from those who eat what is cooked), I do the shopping, but I do not do all of the prep. Matt has picked up that aspect of it. I am grateful for that. We eat healthy. We are virtually a pasta free household. There was a little bit if hesitancy about it, but now its ritual so no problems. We eat junk. I have learned that everything can be eaten but always in moderation. I deprive my self of nothing at all. It creates bad habits and binges, both of which I do not need.
I have come to learn that I can eat whatever I want but my body always tells me how it feels about it. With that said, I avoid milk ( I drink lactose free milk), I avoid pasta and breads, most things gluten filled, ground hamburger unless it is the good stuff, but I'm too cheap to pay for that so I often dont), As well as corn and rice. I love steak and chocolate cake (both of which I had no desire to eat 8 years ago). I eat pizza minus the dough and crust most times. If you want to see something fun, watch that, just ask my 19 year old son. He laughs ever time. I eat cookies and all kinds of sweets, but always in moderation. I still dont eat celery! I listen to my body. Even if I do not listen, I pay for it within 30 minutes. Its not fun or fun to watch (so i am told).
I look at other who are on a weight loss journey and see all the successes. I wished I could have been successful on these programs like Jennie Craig, Weight Watchers, Atkins, paleo, yada yada, and so on. I tried it all. Why didnt these work for me. I found out about 4 years ago it had something to do with my cortisol levels being too high and being insulin resistant. Everything carb loaded turned to sugar and was stored for "later usage." This comes from training your body for years through binge and purge and deprivation. Do I feel bad? Sometimes yes. I feel bad that I my body didn't have the courage or motivation to do what I needed to do on its own, but she just wasn't' having it. I REGRET nothing in this journey.
My Cholesterol was 589 at its highest on meds, and now its 187. My BGS was always so high, I refused to take it and now its maintained and I feel good. The only side effect I really endured was major hair loss, which is why I went from long locks to a pixie cut! I have tried multiple times to grow it out and it always comes out in clumps. So I always go back to the pixie. Again this weekend I am headed there!
It seems I'm just rambling at this point, so I will close it up and Say Happy New Year and if you need a support system for weight loss,, FIND ME! I'm here.
Bonnie
Showing posts with label 4 post op. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 4 post op. Show all posts
Monday, December 30, 2019
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Hell Yeah! Happy & Healthy in 2016
Happy Holidays
I just gave this link to a friend who is considering this surgery and realized that I had not written in 2 years. I guess I felt that I didn't need to detail my journey any more, but others are still reading and checking, but since Ive last posted I know that at least three of my friends have had the sleeve, and one had to undergo a full bypass as his sleeve failed. He also had the skin removal surgery. A surgery I teeter with weekly.
I have made some great friends who have walked this journey after me. They get it. Its nice to have that sometimes and sometimes I am glad people don't know where I use to be. I am ashamed that I let myself get there and have vowed to never get there again. Ever. A healthier me is my moto now. I'm happy to answering any questions or offer any support to those who are thinking of this journey, are walking this journey and need a pep talk, have had the surgery and need some reassurance that this was the right decision or just have been post op and need to compare notes. I will never pretend I know anything or what is right for you, I just know what is right for me and what worked for me. My email: momofkvkwa@facebook.
The last two years have been quite the journey! Let me start off by saying I am 182 pounds, which is 5 pounds less than it was at 18 months post op (my last blog post). Im holding my own. In the summer it drops about 15 pounds due to more activity, but I maintain and I'm ok with that.
I have learned what I can eat, what I can't eat, what I'm intolerable to and what I absolutely can't live without. I've also learned what I HATE and LOVE now. Its amazing how your taste changes after the surgery. Be prepared for it. I wasn't. Nobody warned me. I'm warning you.
I do not attend the FAHC support group meetings, they just dont work in my schedule, although I should go. I may make a difference for somebody else. I didnt have that and wished I did.
I have since gotten married, as most of you know in 2014 in a size 12 dress and went bra-less. What a feeling that was. There were cups built in, but no bra. . Never in my life have i ever been bra-less for any other reason than being lazy and not caring. lol . I have completed my third Semester at Norwich and am half way into my 5 year schooling to get my BSN. Food during school is definitely a challenge as I constantly still eat every 2 hours, so I am always eating in class it seems. Many of my classmates have no idea that I've been on this journey and probably think I just like to ALWAYS eat. I do, but I eat differently now.
I started running 2-3 times a week in the summer time about 2 -3 miles a wack. Anything more and I'm toast and get bored with it. Im not always good about running weekly nor am I good about faithfully exercising, but I am very active even if not in "structured exercise."
Last summer 2015, I ran the Dirty Girl 5k mud run in Killington. I ran it alone, but like this journey I had tremendous support again for my crazy idea. I ran it in approximately 45 minutes. I was so proud of myself. Who would have thought this fat girl would run a race. They were so proud of me and that was probably more important that I made them proud then actually completing it in record time. Next year I have recruited at least two that I know of already, to run with me. I am very excited.
I wont lie, this surgery saved my life, made me become a food nazi at everbody (which I believe I was entitled to force my new eating habits on to and wasn't), but it gave me a new lease on life. I have more energy to keep up with all of my children. I can wear cute underwear and sweaters. While all those seem really insignificant to many people, they are really huge NSV goals to me.
There are days that I wear those XL sweat pants and tshirt just so I dont have to go anywhere and can be comfortable again and blend into the crowd. Mind you I never leave the house in those clothes, but you get my drift. I try my best to be supportive and sensitive of those walking this journey. I was there, I know how it feels to be discouraged, to beat yourself up, and feel unworthy of this loss.
The other thing I won't lie about is, I still look in the mirror and see that fat girl every day. Its very hard to get my brain to not see her. She was like that for 20 years. I was comfortable hiding behind her. Now I have had to stand up, be accountable for all aspects of my life and watch everything as others often watch me. I didnt ask for that, it just happened. So I do my best to tuck my fat girl in my back pocket and let the new me shine through.
Happy 2016! Here's to a healthier YOU.
I just gave this link to a friend who is considering this surgery and realized that I had not written in 2 years. I guess I felt that I didn't need to detail my journey any more, but others are still reading and checking, but since Ive last posted I know that at least three of my friends have had the sleeve, and one had to undergo a full bypass as his sleeve failed. He also had the skin removal surgery. A surgery I teeter with weekly.
I have made some great friends who have walked this journey after me. They get it. Its nice to have that sometimes and sometimes I am glad people don't know where I use to be. I am ashamed that I let myself get there and have vowed to never get there again. Ever. A healthier me is my moto now. I'm happy to answering any questions or offer any support to those who are thinking of this journey, are walking this journey and need a pep talk, have had the surgery and need some reassurance that this was the right decision or just have been post op and need to compare notes. I will never pretend I know anything or what is right for you, I just know what is right for me and what worked for me. My email: momofkvkwa@facebook.
The last two years have been quite the journey! Let me start off by saying I am 182 pounds, which is 5 pounds less than it was at 18 months post op (my last blog post). Im holding my own. In the summer it drops about 15 pounds due to more activity, but I maintain and I'm ok with that.
I have learned what I can eat, what I can't eat, what I'm intolerable to and what I absolutely can't live without. I've also learned what I HATE and LOVE now. Its amazing how your taste changes after the surgery. Be prepared for it. I wasn't. Nobody warned me. I'm warning you.
I do not attend the FAHC support group meetings, they just dont work in my schedule, although I should go. I may make a difference for somebody else. I didnt have that and wished I did.
I have since gotten married, as most of you know in 2014 in a size 12 dress and went bra-less. What a feeling that was. There were cups built in, but no bra. . Never in my life have i ever been bra-less for any other reason than being lazy and not caring. lol . I have completed my third Semester at Norwich and am half way into my 5 year schooling to get my BSN. Food during school is definitely a challenge as I constantly still eat every 2 hours, so I am always eating in class it seems. Many of my classmates have no idea that I've been on this journey and probably think I just like to ALWAYS eat. I do, but I eat differently now.
I started running 2-3 times a week in the summer time about 2 -3 miles a wack. Anything more and I'm toast and get bored with it. Im not always good about running weekly nor am I good about faithfully exercising, but I am very active even if not in "structured exercise."
Last summer 2015, I ran the Dirty Girl 5k mud run in Killington. I ran it alone, but like this journey I had tremendous support again for my crazy idea. I ran it in approximately 45 minutes. I was so proud of myself. Who would have thought this fat girl would run a race. They were so proud of me and that was probably more important that I made them proud then actually completing it in record time. Next year I have recruited at least two that I know of already, to run with me. I am very excited.
I wont lie, this surgery saved my life, made me become a food nazi at everbody (which I believe I was entitled to force my new eating habits on to and wasn't), but it gave me a new lease on life. I have more energy to keep up with all of my children. I can wear cute underwear and sweaters. While all those seem really insignificant to many people, they are really huge NSV goals to me.
There are days that I wear those XL sweat pants and tshirt just so I dont have to go anywhere and can be comfortable again and blend into the crowd. Mind you I never leave the house in those clothes, but you get my drift. I try my best to be supportive and sensitive of those walking this journey. I was there, I know how it feels to be discouraged, to beat yourself up, and feel unworthy of this loss.
The other thing I won't lie about is, I still look in the mirror and see that fat girl every day. Its very hard to get my brain to not see her. She was like that for 20 years. I was comfortable hiding behind her. Now I have had to stand up, be accountable for all aspects of my life and watch everything as others often watch me. I didnt ask for that, it just happened. So I do my best to tuck my fat girl in my back pocket and let the new me shine through.
Happy 2016! Here's to a healthier YOU.
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