Well, I managed to make it through the holidays and am currently a 1/2 pound away from my doctor's goal of 15 pound weight loss. Last appointment (before Christmas, I hadn't lost any weight and they were pleased with that). They said if I maintained my weight through the holidays, they would be happy. well I managed to lose a half a pound.
The past two months (since I haven't blogged since November) have been very stressful. My mom went with me to my December appointment. She got to ask questions and meet the surgeon. I was thankful that both she and Matt wend with me on this visit.
The holidays, family deaths, friends (2) diagnosis of cancer and a very busy work place. I have been not committed to exercise as I should be nor have I been in the "mood" for losing weight, but some how I managed to do it.
Today I saw the nutritionist and the PA at the clinic and they advised me they dropped my weight loss goal from the 33 pounds down to the 16 pounds. I was shocked, surprised, disappointed and upset. I know this doesnt make much sense, but let me explain.
Shocked.... They told me from the beginning I had to lose 10% of my total body weight. They some how decided that 5% was enough and I have dropped my BMI below 50%. UGH! Not by much, but I have done it. Small successes should be celebrated (I guess).
Surprised: Well because they had told me originally 33 pounds not 16. I didnt think I would ever get there. I have been working hard, but not as hard as I probably should. I was losing faith in myself quickly. I was wondering if it was worth the challenge. Somebody else had enough faith in me, I guess.
Disappointed: I truly expected to lose 33 pounds and feel like maybe they think I cant do this. Can I? Is that why they reduced it! They say no. I have plateaued once again and they see this and recognize what I have done. 15 pounds, in MY opinion, is not a lot. They say it is, but I say it is NOT.
Upset: Really, I CAN do this. Just give me a chance to do it. Wait, I dont have to have their permission to lose the extra 15 pounds, I can do this without it. Right!?
So They will submit me to the insurance for Pre-certification/ authorization in the next few weeks. Once this happens there are two options. YES : D or No :(. And this waiting period will take about 3-5 weeks before we get an answer. Once the answer has been given, we will have two routes to go. Appeal the NO. or move forward with the surgery date which could be 4-10 weeks out from the approval. Again, is this all worth is? I know this is a permenant deal. I just feel some days I am standing in a corner alone with this dilema and choice.
So here I am 15.5 pounds less than I was when i started this adventure. Here's to another month of hard work, eating properly and working to attain my goal.
<3
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