Thirsty Thursday............. is OVER

At the beginning of these three days, I wasn't sure I would survive it. Chewing is such a big part of my every day, but the last three days; drinking, drinking, drinking and NO chewing.  Try it.. it gives you a whole new outlook on eating.
From these last three days I've learned a few things.  I like to CHEW.  I have learned (I knew it was there, but it really poured in) I have the most amazing support system I could ask for, both here and virtual.  Thank you all for your encouragement.
Tuesday,  I didnt think I was going to even make it through the day and half way through Wednesday I was like.. I got this.. And this morning I was thinking.. Is it really gonna be over today?! Yep, and I cant wait to eat tomorrow.  Although my breakfast is packed and consists of what I have had for the last three days!   I've also learned to analyze EVERYTHING I eat in the form of calories, carbs, protein and fats.  I never realized it and wasn't sure I could even do it, but ya know what.  Its easy now.  I know they say 21 days makes it a habit.  I only have 18 more to make it so, then it will be routine!

I have also realized that I LOVE to cook for my family and while it was hard.. It was awesome!
I've finished up my liquid days (for now) with a Greek Yogurt Skim Black Raspberry smoothie :)  as a treat to me.  I DID it. Im tired now from stressing about it the past three very LONG days, but I did it.

Monday is weigh in day, I'm a lil nervous about this appointment, but it is what it is.  This past month has been  a little hard and the exercise has not been up to par! Here's hoping the scales tip in my favor.
Love to you all <3

Liquidy Goodness

Well, I made it through another day. Surprisingly enough, this day was much easier than yesterday, which makes me believe that tomorrow will be a breeze.  Other than getting a ration of S*** from the guys I work with about the liquid and their colors I am eating during the day, use your wildest imagination. Today was good.  The key:  To not "graze" throughout the day, rather to ration my foods.  I had my black decaf tea at 730 and ate my breakfast at 9 am with a snack to follow at 11, then lunch at 12:30; water water water throughout the afternoon and my snack at 2:00 pm.

Now I am waiting for Matt to come home with a super soup he has made today.  I'm eager to try it.  I'm starving!  Its amazing how many calories one can drink.  I'm not sure how I will handle Friday when I can eat real foods again.. All I know is I am super pumped for Date night and Dinner out with my love.

Happy Hump Day!
Bonnie

Day one Done (Almost)

As I sit here with my black, decafinated coffee.. I feel good (sorta). Well, I've survived the first day of liquids, ALMOST.. Phew.  It was as hard as I expected, but a lot easier at work than at home; although I did have a mini freak out today and Matt was there to rescue and encourage me.
Encourage me to the fault of actually doing this with me, the liquid diet part anyway.    He brought me water and a variety of Crystal Lights!  What a guy! :)
I never really thought of all the liquids I could eat including soup and yogurt.  I did have Chicken Tortilla Soup for dinner with my yogurt.  I never thought THAT soup could be the consistency of  a cream soup.  Thank God for my Ninja.
I will tell you it was very hard NOT to pick at dinner when one was making Chocolate Chip Waffles and the other was having grilled cheese/ Quesadillas.  Not an easy feat at all, but I did it. And I am blessed to be dealt with a daughter who has such a great sense of humor as She chowed on these waffles and I drank my soup and yogurt.
 Now just down to my last "snack" for the night and that will come about 8 pm.
Just think,, tomorrow will be here before I know it.
<3

Emotions are pouring

Well today has been a day of emotions, up and down.
As I sat down tonight to create my next three days of liquid menu the emotions are pouring out of my
face.  I've questioned whether I should be doing this, IF I can do this, and what will happen when I
finally reach my goal.

We shall see.. Tomorrow morning begins the liquid diet begins for three days!

One month and Stuck

My postings are going to be a little more frequent in the next few months as much is going on. First let me go back before I can go forward.
My weight seems to be at a stand still, not that my scale is ever right (which is why I never owned one to begin with).  It is either WAY up or WAY down.  I hate that damn thing. Itss been one month since my last weigh in and I think I'm stuck.

The homework is a work in progress, but the liquid diet this week will be put in place.   Three days of eating sugar free, pureed finely and thinned liquids.  I know its part of the "practice" so I know what I will deal with when I have my surgery, but Im not sure I can do it.  I'm having so many mixed feelings right now.

Matt and I attended a support group for people who are pre-op and Post of from this surgery and wow.  They were an amazing group of candidates as well as support people.  I felt a little awkward at first, but once the talking started.. I seemed to fit in.  Amazing group of people!  I thought that requirement was kinda HOKEY, but ya know what. I think we are going back.  Its only once a month, but it made me feel so much better.  I love the that I have the support of most of my friends and most of my family, but these people get this all the way around.  They were all in different stages of their process from just beginning to FIVE years post op.  AMAZING .

One week till my next weigh in, which I am a little concerned with, AND three days this week of liquids.  Stay tuned.
Love to you all,

B

314 and falling...

I weighed in last week and continue to fall. I'm quite pleased with myself on this weigh in.  I was shocked actually that I lost anything at all. I didnt feel it in my clothes or in anyway shape or form.  I havent felt a change in any of the loss. I am over half way to my goal and STILL I sit in the same size pants/ shirts :/  THAT is frustrating.  I wonder if the scales are rigged?!  LOL.
     I sat in this FOUR hour long nutrition class. Where the hell was this class at the very beginning in June?  We talked about requirements for Fats, Sugars,  Protein and Carbs.  No foods with more than 8 total Fats, 8 Total Sugars, 20 total Carbs and at LEAST 70 gms of Protein a day!  UGH, I just fixed how I was eating with the calorie cutting to 1,000 a day, now I have SOMETHING else to watch.  Oh Jeez.  Is this worth it and can I really do this?
   I have homework too.  Yep, 23 years out of school and homework that requires eating. LOL  Never heard of it, but have to try.  I have to go on a THREE day full liquid diet to prepare myself for the ten day FULL liquid diet before my surgery date (which is to be decided in December).  THEN I have to create a menu of "blended foods"  aka baby food consistency for three days as a guideline for post op.  Again, I dont know if I can do this.  The only great thing is that my youngest daughter Victoria has said she will do the three day liquid with me and Matt said he would make sure after surgery I have what I need.  
God help me, I think I'm gonna need all the help I can.
    Next up, pre-certification on November 14th AND 14 more pounds to go........
Until next time,, :)

On My Weigh Out of the 20's ~~~~~

     Today, I sit here in the waiting room with other people "like me." We are all here for the same reason... our weight and the battle with it.  Waiting for this Dr. to come out aind tell us about how we are going to change anid how others are going to see us.  Really?..1 -2-3  GO!
     Ok, so that class was NOT what I  expected. It was about ways to maintain your weight AFTER the surgery, but how to get in the habit BEFORE!  Informational, but I wanted to get to the weigh in, but not before I waited two hours and have lunch.  So We (Victoria and I had lunch) at VT Sandwich Company (normally I would recommend highly, but today it was awful), none the less, we hit up Toys R Us, Home Depot, Wal-Mart, and Dunkin Donuts while I waited.  I was very eager to weigh.  I didnt feel like I lost anything, but I knew I needed to.
     2:15 came................. WEIGH IN. = 320 :)  YAHOO!  4.2 pounds down! Yep. GONE GONE GONE!  I was very relieved.  Nearly half way in weight loss and 2/3 of the way in visits.  Now comes the mandatory 4 hour nutrition class, the support group, the pre-certification AND the next weigh in.  Phew, lots to do before the next visit in October.
     I'm very excited and scared as this approaches and it looks like January or February will be the actual time, but in the mean time.. Lots of work to do!


Love to you all who are "Watching Me Shrink" <3

Official Weigh in!

So 324.2 is a great number right now! Yep, I weighed in on August 29th!    its 5.8 pounds LESS from a month ago! Yeah me!  It has so not been easy. There are a lot of new stressors in my life at the moment, so eating seems like a great way to de-stress. Well, I use to think. I know its not ok, so I've managed to get my ass to bed early and not eat late night snacks.

Halfway there and only 24 more pounds to go to hit my "ideal surgery weight".  Three more visits, a behavior class with a skinny psychologist. And when I say skinny I mean DOUBLE 00!  no kidding right. Skinny chick teaching "Fat" people how to feel about themselves now and what to expect then.  I dont get it, but ok.  And then I have a class on How to eat After.  I know how to eat. I didnt get this shape, and Yes, round is a shape, from NOT knowing how to eat. LOL... Then I have HOMEWORK and a test!  Seriously!  Hard, Hard, Hard.  I feel some days I'm hanging on by a thread doing this alone.

I know this isnt true. Tori and Matt have been great support and Atta Girls thus far!  I just expect more out of me!
Any way!  Four more weeks and 7 pounds less is the goal.
TTFN
B <3

Weigh in time!

Well, its been a few weeks since I've weighed in.  I knew I'd dropped a few pounds, but I was so shocked to see that I weighed in at 321.2.  That drops me 10 pounds :D yippie !!!!!!!!!!!!
So excited you have no idea.  Next week is the official weigh in. Here's to a non stressful week and doing the right things.

Month #2 - No Such Luck

Today was my second appointment and Matt went with me. Weigh in:............ 331 :( ! Oh NO! Not the way I envisioned this appointment going considering, but when it comes down to it. THEIR scales are the only ones that counts.   I saw the RNP, Deb and the Dietician, Eileen.  Both are so awesome.

Eileen seemed a little concerned with the increased in weight gain of 3 pounds and as was I likewise.  I expressed to her that 1600 calories a day was TOO much, so together we agreed no less than 1000, but no MORE than 1500.  I can do this.  She also made it clear I was to have MORE fruits and veggies. *SIGH*..  Ok, but I get sick of eating apples and bananas for breakfast and as most of you know me, I expressed this.
She advised me that I could eat veggies with my Yogurt if I so chose to :)  Here we are now, simple as simple can get.  1.  Lean Protein at EVERY meal.  2. a fruit or veggie at EVERY meal.  3. MORE water. 4. More "structured" walking. NO MORE STARTCHES!
When I questioned why I wasn't advised this on the first visit, it was simply stated, we needed to see how you eat and then we needed to fix it so you eat like WE want you to ,.  :D  DONE. I can do this!  Right?!

On to Deb the RNP.  Skinny little thing she is...... I wonder why they put all the skinny people in the "Fat People Clinic" (as I call it). .LOL.. anyway, we reviewed my medical history extensively.  Not ONCE did she mention my weight, which I found odd, but none the less we talked about the upcoming testing and classes I must attend and complete.  WHAT A List....
1. Support Group meeting
2. Behavioral Class with the Shrink
3. Nutrition class (with a QUIZ)
4.  Endoscopy (8/2)
5. Post Op nutrition class.

All in all, the visit to start out with was very discouraging, but ended with LOTS of encouragement. :)

Thanks for following :)

Week 3 1/2...... Little by Little

Well, the past 10 days have been a huge roller coaster for me.  I've started a new job :O).. and I'm down to 325.2 :D  Yippie!
DOWN 2.8 pounds since my last posting.  Ok, so its not easy, by any means, but you know.. Every little pound makes me feel like my mission is clear.

I have had nothing but positive feedback and support from all of you following (literally) and those of you who aren't :)  I thank you so very much.
To those of you who think otherwise, I don't need you or  your negativity!

Monday I go for my monthly weigh in with the RNP and the Dietician.  Lets hope THEIR scale shows I've come down.  I will post a picture on Monday.  You wont be able to see the loss as its so small, but.. over time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4vREUUv9Lw  (little something, something to watch)

Love to you all <3

Week 2 -Less than Successful!

Well, Weigh in this week was not so great.  328. :(  I know the holiday weekend and my birthday were probably huge factors, but with all the walking I've done, it should not have mattered.

They have me on a 1600 calorie eating schedule.  That is alot. I did what THEY wanted me to do for a week.  Guess what, Not going to do that again.  I'm not going to do it!  I will just eat and be active like I normally do and go from there.
Frustrating.  On the good side of this, my Support Care Partner, Matt was told yesterday that he has to come down 24 pounds for Guards, so he will be pushing himself as well as me :)  Here's hoping!

New job starts on Friday.. Its a "sitting" job, which I am not going to like, but for now its all there is!

WEEK 1 - Shrunk 2 pounds

Well the Fourth of July weekend is upon me.  Its my birthday weekend as well, so this weekend could prove to be  a little challenging with ALL the food!  Its been a week since I've started this journey and ya know what?  This is HARD, but I'm down to 326.4 :)  The exercise is not nearly as hard as I expected with the nice weather I can do more outside and not even think about the "exercise." Plus chasing a 16 month old is not as easy as I remember, perhaps its because I'm not 20 anymore.. LOL.


Its been an emotional food eating week, but I managed to keep it together and only eat what I'm suppose to.  Except the pint of Ben & Jerry's Fro Yo Cherry Garcia (400 calories for the entire pint).  Since I am not a huge sweet eater, not eating them is easy; its the damn ice cream.  I've managed to cut out the soda and replace it with water (bleck)!    


Since the week has been pretty uneventful, I will close now.  
I just want to thank all of you who have been super supportive already on this journey,  Your continued kindness is so appreciated in case I forget to say so along the way.  The kind words have brought me to tears (Betsy). Thanks for believing in me, for not judging me, and for loving me just the way I am.


Love to you all.

Let the Journey Begin

So I have decided to move forward with Gastric Bypass Surgery and I've also decided to create a blog so that my family and friends can follow me as I move along through this life changing journey over the next 8 months.
I will detail my visits, follow my weight and my days/weeks here.

June 23rd visit .  Today was my first visit with the Bariatric Clinic at Fletcher Allen with Dr.Firgione.  It was actually the one of two visits I will have with the surgeon and the THIRD visit I had with the clinic.  The first one was informational and the second was a psych evaluation..

Today, i  weighed in at 328.4.  Alarming and shocking as you all probably are, this is the heaviest I have ever been.

Dr. Firgione explained both the Gastric ByPass surgery (GBP) and the Gastrectomy Sleeve procedure.  It appears that I will most benefit from the GBP.  After listening to all the risks and benefits, I was even more sure that this was what I needed to do to get healthy.
Surgery is an aid. Not the Goal.

I then met with Eileen, the nutritionist.  She told me 1500 calories a day and 30 mins of exercise is my daily goal.   This will allow me to lose 32 pounds prior to the surgery. Should be easy right?  We shall see.

I post this to share my feelings of all of what is going on and for your support.  I don't want to be judged for my decisions. I want positive feedback.
B