Six month four day- post op!

Six months Post Op!
Well today I weighed in being 6 months and 4 days out. 207!!! Not quite below 200 which was my six month goal, butHaven't seen this in months, heck; YEARS. Who am I kidding?! 124 total since the beginning and 100 # from surgery date!! Excited? You bet! Considering they advised 80 pounds is the norm in the first year!

It's amazing the people that drive right by me because the just don't recognize me or people who don't wave for the same reason. Heck my own mother drove right by me cuz she thought "somebody else" was driving a car that looked like mine. It's ok, I don't recognize me either.

I have to share what happened to me just yesterday. I was asked, when I was at CVMC to get blood drawn if my personality changed; mind you my youngest daughter was with me ( my physical support person - one of them through all of this) .. Anyway, simultaneously we answer " she says 'YES' and me? I say no!! Lol. We both laugh and then I look at her confused - STILL IN FRONT OF THE REGISTRATION PERSON She simply says " she's Much happier". My heart melted. It's true. I'm happy with me, loose flabby skin, missing belly button and all! Healthier! The new me! This woman proceeded to talk to us about wanting to do this herself, but had no support. Before I could say anything, my youngest daughter says to her "Ill be YOURS! I'll go with you every step if the way". Needless to say this woman and myself were moved to tears for two entirely different reasons! How proud I was!

Keep in mind The last six months have NOT come without challenges, but the successes outweigh those Ten to One (10:1. )
I often get asked "what, if anything, do I regret about this surgery/ process?" My answer: NOTHING! The only challenge I constantly have is I've yet to find a food that cures the 'need' to eat. You know that comfort food the one that satisfies. Haven't found it. I HAVE found my sweet tooth :/ which I NEVER HAD. For those of you that are thinking " oh no!" No worries, two pieces of dove bar and I'm done. :). If The fat content in anything is higher than 4g- my body throws a fit, therefore I stay away, but it's soo worth it The only issue I hate and am trying to really grasp ahold of is the major amount if hair loss. But hey, what's a lil clogging drain or rats nest hair brush!? Lol. Biotin and B complex overload is my best friend these days.

I worried in the past I'd fail, but I don't anymore I'd slip back. I listen to my body (as I always have) and pay the price if I don't. This is a LIFESTYLE change not a quick fix. In fact, I've taken over all the grocery shopping AND food preparation at home. oh don't worry, Matt still cooks but with me by his side AFTER I've / we've shopped. Lol. Makes him crazy but it needs to happen.

Another question I get asked is "what can you eat?" I'm just like you I can eat whatever I want. Just depends on whether I want the consequences or not. If I don't eat it, it's because I don't want the consequences,it's not because I can't. Did you think is give up grilled cheese forever!? Haha - you're funny. Once a month (due to bread and fats) I treat myself - yes I do pay but I do treat myself to half a sandwich :).

I've managed to now run 2 miles, walk 4.5miles and hike more! All without struggling. My middle son and I fave plans for some XC skiing this winter as well as some snowshoeing! how excited am i to be able to wear ski pants. :) with all this exercise I hope to tone and prep my cardio for the spring.

My goal is to run the Sap Run @ Maple Festival time in April 2013, but my first running attempt, I think will be is going to be the one mile Reindeer Run in St Albans December 6th. :).

14 weeks post op.. challenges loom

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and I truly apologize.  I’ve been a little busy.  Work, a 2 year old, August Birthdays AND Matt gone to guard camp, but today (at work) I’ve made time..

For those of you asking and counting ~ 243 as of August 2^nd and still coming down.  My next professional weigh in is November, right before the Holidays :/  The past fourteen weeks have proved to be a challenge every day, both good and bad equally, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I regret my decision.  Say it’s the easy way out, say I cheated.. Say whatever you want, but know doing this was never an easy decision.  There are days I question (due to the challenges) myself as to whether I did the right thing and the answer is always the same, but I never regret it.

I am down a total of 88 pounds since June 10, 2011 and since surgery date weigh in, I’m 64.8 pounds down!  Yeah for me!  Its still coming off to the point where it scares me because of how fast its coming off.  The purpose of all this right?!  Here’s where the challenges come in.

It does, however, seem like I have MORE of a body image issue now than I ever did when I was morbidly obese. Everybody else is full of praise and wonderment at my transformation, but I only see the flaws, I never saw before.  Sounds like it’s time for a support group meeting.

I love the fact that I can get rid of my clothes and buy new ones.  Shopping has a whole new meaning. I actually enjoy it.  And the new underwear – ah the new underwear.. NO more granny panties.  

 The types of food I love to eat have ceased to exist.  Anything I eat makes me nauseous so I end up drinking my meals for the most part. However, I have discovered steak J and I love it.

I have also for the first time in probably 10 years went hiking on August 4^th with my Middle Son, William. What a great feeling. J 

And the other night… I watched Extreme Make over Weight Loss Edition.  I cried for practically the entire episode.  I kept thinking, I went through that, I know how she feels.  Did I really look like that and do I look like that now?!  Amazing transformation in progress.

june 10, 2011                                                                        August 2, 2012

Five weeks and still.........

So I'm five weeks post op and my next appointment isnt until June 21st :/  My home scale is broke and have yet to make it out to purchase a new one!  Im hearing lots of nice things from lots of people :))  Thank you all.
For those of you who ask, "Do you notice a difference?"  The answer is yes and no.  Yes in my clothes.  The old ones hang and the new ones are not even anywhere close to what I use to buy, which makes shopping fun! I can shop with my girls on the same side of the store and not "meet up" with them later :))

No.. when I look in the mirror, I dont see the weight coming off, but then again.... I never saw the weight going on either.  I never saw myself as 330 pounds.  But to look back now.. Holy Shit.  So comparing pictures, I see it.

Im struggling some with the diet piece of it.  I can eat some soft foods, but then there are some,, Forget it. They just make me vomit.  Eating and driving.. NOT AN OPTION!  Makes me throw every time :/  so its drink drink drink for me whilst driving.  No gum chewing sucks too.

I received a very nice compliment the other day and without even realizing it.. I was told that my story helps so many other people.  I dont see it that way, but if you can pull strength ideas from my story then please do so.. I loved knowing that I am helping somebody else.  Good for me (this time).

I love all of you who support and follow.

June 9 2011                                       April 21 2012                                                          

  
                                                                              June 9, 2012  

<3 Bonnie!

Week 3 Post Op!!!!

Post Op diet is killing me.. I really wanna just bite into a huge burger with cheese and onions.. I know that will NEVER happen again.  It will be the size of a Half Dollar at best :)

Life After Bariatric Surgery

The Post-Op Diet

Your special diet actually starts before surgery with 10 days of a high protein liquid diet.  After surgery, the diet progresses from liquids to regular food slowly over 6 weeks.

Phase 1 – Sugar free clear liquids enough to stay hydrated (includes water, broth, diet gelatin, decaf coffee or tea, sugar free clear beverages, etc.)

Phase 2 – High Protein liquids – includes milk and milk-based drinks, protein supplements, low sugar yogurt, creamed soup, low sugar pudding

Phase 3 – Blended – includes foods blended to a smooth consistency, plus protein supplements

Phase 4 – Soft - small portions of soft cooked foods

Phase 5 – Regular – small portions of high protein foods These diets are explained in great detail at the mandatory post op nutrition class.

Vitamin and Mineral Supplementation

Because intake of food is restricted, the post bariatric surgery patient may become vitamin or mineral deficient. All post op patients are prescribed nutritional supplements. Bypass and sleeve patients, because their surgeries also cause malabsorption of nutrients, receive multivitamins, iron, calcium with Vitamin D, Vitamin B12 and a B complex. Lap band patients take a multivitamin and calcium with Vitamin D. Labs are tested periodically to assure good nutrient status.

week 3 post op

I weigh in Wednesday.

277.8 and frustrated.

This week has been a frustrating one for me personally! I'm back to work full time which has been great. My co-workers have been so supportive, some even offering things I cant have just because they forget.

the frustration for me is the fact that  my body is not healing the way it is suppose to.  The drain tube has been out for two weeks, but I still have this horrible hole on my right abdominal side, its healing, just not like it suppose to.. So once again, I enlisted the help of my 13 year old son, who was so/so about doing it... the hole has to be packed nightly until it heals.  Grrr.

My other frustration is that while I'm losing the weight (and feeling great btw), I feel like it should be coming off faster. Some people who have been here say it could stop in a week or two because all i can do is WALK for exercise and then it will pickup again when I can become really active.

I've managed to get one of my garden boxes planted (thanks to Matt turning the dirt) and half of the large box has been turned (thanks to Keisha), but the rest.............. ugh, the rest!

I'm tired of sitting idly.  I feel like I should be able to be up and running around and have to constantly remind myself that I am ONLY three weeks post op.

Today,  went to do the trash run and as I was getting ready to load it in the car, my Oldest son, Kohl said "Mom, you're not suppose to be lifting anything",  as I continue to try, not listening to him, he said DON'T lift that, I will do it.  My response, I wasn't.. He said I saw you. Leave it for me and I will do it.  Jeez! :/ :)  So I left it.  I guess that part, not being able to do all I want or am use to doing is the most frustrating part for me.

I had a great conversation last night with a close friend of mine, who had full GB, she reminded me of the same things I already know!  She is 9 months post op, so she's been down this road, its just frustrating for me.

My 2 week post op check yielded 8 more pounds away bringing me to 277.8.. (54 pounds since  I started this journey).   I haven't seen this number since I was PREGNANT with my 13 year old.  HOLY Cow.  I'm not seeing the changes, OK maybe in  My feet, my fingers, and my upper body are losing it, but that is NOT the place i want it to go away! LOL.... I'm hoping its moving its way down and eventually these hips and ass will take some of the blame and shed it!.

I also received the offer of "new to me" clothes :)  size 16!  Yikes.. That scares me.. I haven't seen that size since BEFORE I was pregnant with my Youngest daughter 19 years ago.  but I gladly accepted them.  size 14 s my goal weight.  Don't ask what size i am in now.. I'm still wearing stupid tie string pants because of the incisions and drain site.  I'm guessing if I HAD to I'd be 22? Maybe..

Anyway, that my gripe for this week. FRUSTRATION.

Doubters- here's 288 in your face!

I thought by now those who had doubts would have changed their minds.. I guess not.. Whatever.  I stopped and visited a great friend today, we have an awesome visit.  She told me you look great already. I can notice the loss in your face.  I didnt believe her, but then at my Primary doctor visit (8 days post op - I was advised to NOT weigh myself) they weighed me. 288!  :)  Holy cow!!!!!!

 I sat and talked with my son the other day when i told him I was below 300.. We figured it out.. its been 14 years since I was below 300 and 20 years since i've been below 200!  I'd be happy with 200.  Thats a long time.. So instead of eating when I'm angry/ upset/ mad >>>>>I COOK..


For those of you who STILL aren't getting it and are following me...... here is the criteria that I had to achieve.. could you do it?

http://www.fletcherallen.org/services/surgery/specialties/obesity__bariatric__surgery/program_criteria_preop_requirements/

Sincerely,

the Slowly Shrinking friend.

6 Days post op = Thank you's and a BBQ

Ha, I guess most of you thought I'd stop  running my blogging mouth because the surgery has come and gone?  Goal has NOT been met people.. so pay attention closely. :)  I've started a support group page on FB   Gastric By Pass/ Sleeve Surgery & Lap Band of Vermont  
Click the title or the little Earth to go.
~~~~~~>  For those of you who missed the final weigh in.  297! Yeah baby. I hit my goal weight loss that had originally set for m and then some!  331 to 297! :)  


This journey over the past few days has been amazing and emotional.  You know me, cant get away from those emotions..  The support from my immediate family has overwhelmed me. I am truly blessed!  it has reared some feelings from a few about my pending appearance changing, but like I have to remind myself .. the inside is still gonna be phat and sassy no matter how you break it down.  The outside will be now match the inside vs being FAT and sassy :)  I have to be mindful of how my friends are going to react to me when they see me, how and I'm going to react to their reactions?  Its simple really.  I'm the same me, just a whole lot healthier!   There is no immediate change as of today.. it doesn't transform you that quick, its not like plastic surgery! :) 


I've set several huge goals for myself to meet by July of  2013 !. 
 1. Hike Hunger or Worcester mountain without getting out of breath with my boys! :) 
2.  Run the Sap Run.
3.  Run the 4th of July 5k in Montpelier.
4. Learn how to Love Shopping again.
5.  Learn how to Snowboard!


    Great success yesterday at my first real food event. There was a ton of it.  I have decided to                  .  trade one food habit for another.  "Those who cant eat, FEED!"  I did it. Our first summer BBQ   .      sans alcohol (the narcotics filled that gap).  LOL.  I will admit I got more satisfaction watching  ,    everybody chow down on the food I prepared (with Peyton & Keisha's help) yesterday than if I           .      actually had eaten myself.  My tomato soup was just as filling with my main guy on the grill :)  Taco Salad, Pasta Salad, Tuna/ Macaroni Salad, Potato Salad, Burgers, Hamburg Dogs, hot dogs,   .    chicken. Pickles (JUICE FOR ME :)) and chips!  It was a day. i went to bed fulfilled and tired!  




BTW, for those of you who did text me, or called me (and there were allot) I answered one phone call and a few text messages.  sorry for not responding.  Anesthesia, Tordol and Morphine would not allow me to keep my eyes open long enough.  Without using a general thank you for those who have supported along the way. I need to point people out this week, without your help and support,  I couldn't have made it.  


.
Thank you to my children for always being the driver behind the new me, without even realizing it.   Keisha for your worrying now about me taking your closet full of clothes and being in constant blowupmom'sphone via text messages while I  was in the hospital to make sure mama was good.  Victoria, i felt your presence ever so strongly while I was in the hospital know just how much you hate them, but allowed me to rest with ease.  Kohl, never expressing grave concern, but loving me anyway and measuring my inches lost by how far around your arms would/ still go around my waist.  and  William, my own personal nurse.  You have been great with all the medical stuff and the awesome conversations about all of this, for changing the gross bandage and looking excited at the JP drain tube.  You always make me laugh when you say in the coolest, calmest serious voice, "COOL drain".


Thank you to my two closest of friends who kept over my littlest while I began this journey, Telia and Renee. Thank you for making sure he posted to me and letting me get a peek of what he was up to while you had him :) <3 this will never be able to be repaid.  


Thank you to my cousin Shelly, who only discovered I was on this adventure a few months ago and has been a huge supporter since your  day one and for the beautiful flowers in the hospital.  i love you.


My partners in crime (so to speak)  Julie and staci!  This journey is an adventure and I'm right here beside both of you when its your time! <3


Thank you to those that text, emailed, called, and face booked me.... That list is lengthy, but I will try: Lacey, S Vic-Vick hooray, Wendy, Aunt Sandy, Ben, Pickle, Maureen, Katie, Ma Tante Jeanne, Aunt Loretta, Bibbit, Donna, my in-laws Donna and Bill, She-She, Ms. Judy, Kristina,  Darla, Martha, AZ, the famous BrandonKennedy, Chrissy White, Cheri, Jules Dow,  and Betsy!  PHEW! I hope that is everybody. . If I've forgotten you I'm sorry!.


A special thank you ,  mom. You have been right behind me from the very start and never wavered ever. I know you, too were apprehensive, but I made it though :)  You gave me the will power to move and now I'm movin it.  I will persevere and continue on!  I love you Mom!


and last but not least (cuz I'm sure I've forgotten somebody) Matthew... You have been my non stop (NOT ONCE) constant in all of this.  You didn't make the decision, but you made it easier for me to make them. Without your support, riding my ass, pushing to do it the right way, kicking me in the ass when i wanted to give up (and we both know the tears of defeat were there several times), for sitting 15 hours in the hospital with my pink/ white lunch bag full of MY pink stuff waiting for me, for being so attentive and caring when I just wanted to quit, for giving me  that "look" of  i got you..  With you, I could have done it, but having you by my side for every rocky step of the preceding chapters made is so much easier!  I love you.


Stay tuned.. two week post op pics will be posted..


<3 you all!.

Day 7 - This is easy!

well, this is easy squeezie lemon pleazie.. I'm over half way with the liquid only 3 more full days left.

My emotions (as always) are getting the best of me.  I'm ready, then I'm not, then I'm ready, then I'm not!  I don't know that I will be ready, but I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be.
The overwhelming support in the past few weeks has climaxed.  It humbles me terribly to see just how many people support and love me! Thank you.

I wont lie, I am missing my Tori Girl. She has been, from the beginning, one of the driving forces behind my positive attitude. She won't be here for another 28 days. I can't wait.

Keisha,once she got home, was a huge support and a FOOD Nazi. :) 
She and Matt will be at the hospital with me, waiting with the beeper. Cribbage could be on their plate.  Three hours of it, at least! lol..

Billy and I had a great talk about nutrition last night. I love the fact that he is interested.

Kohl, I think, he's nervous for me, but hasn't really said much.

Ilove, adore, and appreciate you all for the support and listening to me ramble on about all of this.  Your support means the world to me.

HALF WAY!

Five down! Five to go!  I can't believe then end of the beginning is almost here!  I've managed to get through the first five days in one piece.  The first three were really the hardest, but now its like no big deal!  


here I am.. No weight this week.. scale needs batteries.. Here's hoping its going down.. STILL.

 I hope to be able to keep adding pictures as I go along down in weight.  It is going to come off very quickly

They say about 25 pounds a month if not more.. By Christmas, they (the doctors) say to expect to be HALF of where I am at. HALF..  can't imagine. 


Five more days!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day Three..... Seven to go!

I've geared myself up for so long for this and its really here! REALLY!  I did this back in November, it should be easy, right?  WRONG!  I'm struggling more this time than ever before!  I've come this far, I should be able to just do it.  One would think.  I'm doing it, but its definitely not easy!  Seven more days.  I don't miss chewing, not really!  I find myself wanting to eat when I'm BORED!  Wonder if this means I've been bored most of my adult life?!  If that is the case, I need to not be bored anymore and whoop it up!  

Here's to change.

Surgery Date Set.

First I just want to thank ALL of you (I have 11 followers, but I know there are more who are reading)  who have been supportive of me on this journey that I started 11 months ago. Ia  feel like I need to explain  a few things to those of you who read this and support me (& even those who don't). May 7th, I will undergo a Sleeve Gastrectomy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeve_gastrectomy.  I went for my pre-op exam. 307.6 is the next to final weight. I must continue to lose in the next two weeks.  It should really be easy. Liquid diet (the one I did in November) will commence for TWO weeks on Friday, April 27th.  Which is why I have been asking for low fat/ high protein soup recipes.

This journey over the last 11 months has just been the beginning of a life long commitment to getting healthier and staying healthy!  My decision to do this was not entered lightly. I didn't do this to "get skinny."  I chose this path because  I kept yo-yo'ing back and forth in my weight and when I peaked 300 pounds I just gave up trying. My primary physician suggested this to me over two years ago, but I declined then. I didn't get this way from surgery, I was not go to reverse it with surgery. Then a bunch of health problems started to loom due to my OVER 50% BMI.  Cholesterol was rising, High Sugar reared its ugly head. A heart murmur had developed.  I was unable to bend over and tie my shoes (I know, I know.. laugh cuz I don't wear them, but in the winter one must), couldn't put on my sox without becoming out of breath, forget getting off the floor without a struggle, couldn't sit cross legged on the floor, had to buy "re-enforced" furniture for the summer.  I didn't want this for myself anymore. I want to be able to see ALL of my children grown and be successful.

So for those of you who are in great support, without judgement and are asking about it. I appreciate it in more ways than you can imagine.  I thank you for caring, for listening to me about my journey, struggle, successes.  Like I said, Friday I will begin the real journey.  Please feel free to ask questions, lend support, keep me in your prayers for my success over the next few weeks into months.  Positive energy, thoughts, and prayers are always welcome. This girl will transform into HALF the body I am now, but NOT half the person.

If you disagree, I'm sorry I don't have your support and that you disagree with my choice.  Please keep the  negativity to yourself.

for a "picture" of how this will look.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjxFjI69bEI

Love to you all! <3

307.4 and a date in place

Its been a wild ride the past few months. I just realized I haven't said anything, well not published anyway.. i've written, but just didnt post..  So I've posted my those  past two posts today..  Probably because I went backwards and was so disappointed in myself that I didnt want to disappoint anybody else either, but since I started this journey LAST June I've managed to come full circle and realize........I've done it. Hit my weight goal and still working at it. And when I mean working at it,, it truly is just the beginning of work. Probably the hardest I've ever worked at anything in my life.  This is serious business.

 I've done it!  I've made my weight goal and have been approved with a date in place.  It all just came to be so real yesterday.  My emotions, as if they weren't enough already, ran away with me IN the car none the less; so I really couldn't go anywhere to hide, and once again, there were pieces to be picked up,doubts to be reassured of.  I am truly blessed with family I have. . I truly do have a great support system in place.

I do need to say this...... I am doing this for HEALTH reasons and for ME.  I'm not doing it to get "skinny" or so others will like me or so I dont have to work at maintaining.  This is not the goal, just a step towards the goal. I will have to work harder to maintain. So if I seem less than receptive to your comments, its because  I've heard some pretty negative things about this whole idea for me and honestly I dont need it.  So if you dont agree with my decision or want to be genuinely supportive then dont say anything

I will keep those of you subscribed updated as I venture through.  I love those of you who are in my corner!
<3

Weight goal met.

4/17.. He asked for 4 pounds I gave him 8.  Now its on to precertification... 308.

Four pounds the WRONG way

3/15... so upset.. didnt post anything! :(  319.

311.5...........

Well, I managed to make it through the holidays and am currently a 1/2 pound away from my doctor's goal of 15 pound weight loss.  Last appointment (before Christmas, I hadn't lost any weight and they were pleased with that).  They said if I maintained my weight through the holidays, they would be happy.  well I managed to lose a half a pound.
The past two months (since I haven't blogged since November) have been very stressful.  My mom went with me to my December appointment. She got to ask questions and meet the surgeon.  I was thankful that both she and Matt wend with me on this visit.
The holidays, family deaths, friends (2) diagnosis of cancer and a very busy work place.  I have been not committed to exercise as I  should be nor have I been in the "mood" for losing weight, but some how I managed to do it.
Today I saw the nutritionist and the PA at the clinic and they advised me they dropped my weight loss goal from the 33 pounds down to the 16 pounds. I was shocked, surprised, disappointed and upset.  I know this doesnt make much sense, but let me explain.
Shocked.... They told me from the beginning I had to lose 10% of my total body weight.  They some how decided that 5% was enough and I have dropped my BMI below 50%.  UGH! Not by much, but I have done it. Small successes should be celebrated (I guess).
Surprised: Well because they had told me originally 33 pounds not 16.  I didnt think I would ever get there. I have been working hard, but not as hard as I probably should.  I was losing faith in myself quickly.  I was wondering if it was worth the challenge.  Somebody else had enough faith in me, I guess.
Disappointed:  I truly expected to lose 33 pounds and feel like maybe they think I cant do this.  Can I? Is that why they reduced it!  They say no. I have plateaued once again and they see this and recognize what I have done.  15 pounds, in MY opinion, is not a lot.  They say it is, but I say it is NOT.
Upset:  Really, I CAN do this. Just give me a chance to do it.  Wait, I dont have to have their permission to lose the extra 15 pounds, I can do this without it.  Right!?

So They will submit me to the insurance for Pre-certification/ authorization in the next few weeks.  Once this happens there are two options. YES : D or No :(.  And this waiting period will take about 3-5 weeks before we get an answer.  Once the answer has been given, we will have two routes to go.  Appeal the NO. or move forward with the surgery date which could be 4-10 weeks out from the approval.  Again, is this all worth is? I know this is a permenant deal. I just feel some days I am standing in a corner alone with this dilema and choice.

So here I am 15.5 pounds less than I was when i started this adventure.  Here's to another month of hard work, eating properly and working to attain my goal.

<3