14 weeks post op.. challenges loom

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and I truly apologize.  I’ve been a little busy.  Work, a 2 year old, August Birthdays AND Matt gone to guard camp, but today (at work) I’ve made time..

For those of you asking and counting ~ 243 as of August 2^nd and still coming down.  My next professional weigh in is November, right before the Holidays :/  The past fourteen weeks have proved to be a challenge every day, both good and bad equally, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I regret my decision.  Say it’s the easy way out, say I cheated.. Say whatever you want, but know doing this was never an easy decision.  There are days I question (due to the challenges) myself as to whether I did the right thing and the answer is always the same, but I never regret it.

I am down a total of 88 pounds since June 10, 2011 and since surgery date weigh in, I’m 64.8 pounds down!  Yeah for me!  Its still coming off to the point where it scares me because of how fast its coming off.  The purpose of all this right?!  Here’s where the challenges come in.

It does, however, seem like I have MORE of a body image issue now than I ever did when I was morbidly obese. Everybody else is full of praise and wonderment at my transformation, but I only see the flaws, I never saw before.  Sounds like it’s time for a support group meeting.

I love the fact that I can get rid of my clothes and buy new ones.  Shopping has a whole new meaning. I actually enjoy it.  And the new underwear – ah the new underwear.. NO more granny panties.  

 The types of food I love to eat have ceased to exist.  Anything I eat makes me nauseous so I end up drinking my meals for the most part. However, I have discovered steak J and I love it.

I have also for the first time in probably 10 years went hiking on August 4^th with my Middle Son, William. What a great feeling. J 

And the other night… I watched Extreme Make over Weight Loss Edition.  I cried for practically the entire episode.  I kept thinking, I went through that, I know how she feels.  Did I really look like that and do I look like that now?!  Amazing transformation in progress.

june 10, 2011                                                                        August 2, 2012

Five weeks and still.........

So I'm five weeks post op and my next appointment isnt until June 21st :/  My home scale is broke and have yet to make it out to purchase a new one!  Im hearing lots of nice things from lots of people :))  Thank you all.
For those of you who ask, "Do you notice a difference?"  The answer is yes and no.  Yes in my clothes.  The old ones hang and the new ones are not even anywhere close to what I use to buy, which makes shopping fun! I can shop with my girls on the same side of the store and not "meet up" with them later :))

No.. when I look in the mirror, I dont see the weight coming off, but then again.... I never saw the weight going on either.  I never saw myself as 330 pounds.  But to look back now.. Holy Shit.  So comparing pictures, I see it.

Im struggling some with the diet piece of it.  I can eat some soft foods, but then there are some,, Forget it. They just make me vomit.  Eating and driving.. NOT AN OPTION!  Makes me throw every time :/  so its drink drink drink for me whilst driving.  No gum chewing sucks too.

I received a very nice compliment the other day and without even realizing it.. I was told that my story helps so many other people.  I dont see it that way, but if you can pull strength ideas from my story then please do so.. I loved knowing that I am helping somebody else.  Good for me (this time).

I love all of you who support and follow.

June 9 2011                                       April 21 2012                                                          

  
                                                                              June 9, 2012  

<3 Bonnie!

Week 3 Post Op!!!!

Post Op diet is killing me.. I really wanna just bite into a huge burger with cheese and onions.. I know that will NEVER happen again.  It will be the size of a Half Dollar at best :)

Life After Bariatric Surgery

The Post-Op Diet

Your special diet actually starts before surgery with 10 days of a high protein liquid diet.  After surgery, the diet progresses from liquids to regular food slowly over 6 weeks.

Phase 1 – Sugar free clear liquids enough to stay hydrated (includes water, broth, diet gelatin, decaf coffee or tea, sugar free clear beverages, etc.)

Phase 2 – High Protein liquids – includes milk and milk-based drinks, protein supplements, low sugar yogurt, creamed soup, low sugar pudding

Phase 3 – Blended – includes foods blended to a smooth consistency, plus protein supplements

Phase 4 – Soft - small portions of soft cooked foods

Phase 5 – Regular – small portions of high protein foods These diets are explained in great detail at the mandatory post op nutrition class.

Vitamin and Mineral Supplementation

Because intake of food is restricted, the post bariatric surgery patient may become vitamin or mineral deficient. All post op patients are prescribed nutritional supplements. Bypass and sleeve patients, because their surgeries also cause malabsorption of nutrients, receive multivitamins, iron, calcium with Vitamin D, Vitamin B12 and a B complex. Lap band patients take a multivitamin and calcium with Vitamin D. Labs are tested periodically to assure good nutrient status.

week 3 post op

I weigh in Wednesday.

277.8 and frustrated.

This week has been a frustrating one for me personally! I'm back to work full time which has been great. My co-workers have been so supportive, some even offering things I cant have just because they forget.

the frustration for me is the fact that  my body is not healing the way it is suppose to.  The drain tube has been out for two weeks, but I still have this horrible hole on my right abdominal side, its healing, just not like it suppose to.. So once again, I enlisted the help of my 13 year old son, who was so/so about doing it... the hole has to be packed nightly until it heals.  Grrr.

My other frustration is that while I'm losing the weight (and feeling great btw), I feel like it should be coming off faster. Some people who have been here say it could stop in a week or two because all i can do is WALK for exercise and then it will pickup again when I can become really active.

I've managed to get one of my garden boxes planted (thanks to Matt turning the dirt) and half of the large box has been turned (thanks to Keisha), but the rest.............. ugh, the rest!

I'm tired of sitting idly.  I feel like I should be able to be up and running around and have to constantly remind myself that I am ONLY three weeks post op.

Today,  went to do the trash run and as I was getting ready to load it in the car, my Oldest son, Kohl said "Mom, you're not suppose to be lifting anything",  as I continue to try, not listening to him, he said DON'T lift that, I will do it.  My response, I wasn't.. He said I saw you. Leave it for me and I will do it.  Jeez! :/ :)  So I left it.  I guess that part, not being able to do all I want or am use to doing is the most frustrating part for me.

I had a great conversation last night with a close friend of mine, who had full GB, she reminded me of the same things I already know!  She is 9 months post op, so she's been down this road, its just frustrating for me.

My 2 week post op check yielded 8 more pounds away bringing me to 277.8.. (54 pounds since  I started this journey).   I haven't seen this number since I was PREGNANT with my 13 year old.  HOLY Cow.  I'm not seeing the changes, OK maybe in  My feet, my fingers, and my upper body are losing it, but that is NOT the place i want it to go away! LOL.... I'm hoping its moving its way down and eventually these hips and ass will take some of the blame and shed it!.

I also received the offer of "new to me" clothes :)  size 16!  Yikes.. That scares me.. I haven't seen that size since BEFORE I was pregnant with my Youngest daughter 19 years ago.  but I gladly accepted them.  size 14 s my goal weight.  Don't ask what size i am in now.. I'm still wearing stupid tie string pants because of the incisions and drain site.  I'm guessing if I HAD to I'd be 22? Maybe..

Anyway, that my gripe for this week. FRUSTRATION.

Doubters- here's 288 in your face!

I thought by now those who had doubts would have changed their minds.. I guess not.. Whatever.  I stopped and visited a great friend today, we have an awesome visit.  She told me you look great already. I can notice the loss in your face.  I didnt believe her, but then at my Primary doctor visit (8 days post op - I was advised to NOT weigh myself) they weighed me. 288!  :)  Holy cow!!!!!!

 I sat and talked with my son the other day when i told him I was below 300.. We figured it out.. its been 14 years since I was below 300 and 20 years since i've been below 200!  I'd be happy with 200.  Thats a long time.. So instead of eating when I'm angry/ upset/ mad >>>>>I COOK..


For those of you who STILL aren't getting it and are following me...... here is the criteria that I had to achieve.. could you do it?

http://www.fletcherallen.org/services/surgery/specialties/obesity__bariatric__surgery/program_criteria_preop_requirements/

Sincerely,

the Slowly Shrinking friend.

6 Days post op = Thank you's and a BBQ

Ha, I guess most of you thought I'd stop  running my blogging mouth because the surgery has come and gone?  Goal has NOT been met people.. so pay attention closely. :)  I've started a support group page on FB   Gastric By Pass/ Sleeve Surgery & Lap Band of Vermont  
Click the title or the little Earth to go.
~~~~~~>  For those of you who missed the final weigh in.  297! Yeah baby. I hit my goal weight loss that had originally set for m and then some!  331 to 297! :)  


This journey over the past few days has been amazing and emotional.  You know me, cant get away from those emotions..  The support from my immediate family has overwhelmed me. I am truly blessed!  it has reared some feelings from a few about my pending appearance changing, but like I have to remind myself .. the inside is still gonna be phat and sassy no matter how you break it down.  The outside will be now match the inside vs being FAT and sassy :)  I have to be mindful of how my friends are going to react to me when they see me, how and I'm going to react to their reactions?  Its simple really.  I'm the same me, just a whole lot healthier!   There is no immediate change as of today.. it doesn't transform you that quick, its not like plastic surgery! :) 


I've set several huge goals for myself to meet by July of  2013 !. 
 1. Hike Hunger or Worcester mountain without getting out of breath with my boys! :) 
2.  Run the Sap Run.
3.  Run the 4th of July 5k in Montpelier.
4. Learn how to Love Shopping again.
5.  Learn how to Snowboard!


    Great success yesterday at my first real food event. There was a ton of it.  I have decided to                  .  trade one food habit for another.  "Those who cant eat, FEED!"  I did it. Our first summer BBQ   .      sans alcohol (the narcotics filled that gap).  LOL.  I will admit I got more satisfaction watching  ,    everybody chow down on the food I prepared (with Peyton & Keisha's help) yesterday than if I           .      actually had eaten myself.  My tomato soup was just as filling with my main guy on the grill :)  Taco Salad, Pasta Salad, Tuna/ Macaroni Salad, Potato Salad, Burgers, Hamburg Dogs, hot dogs,   .    chicken. Pickles (JUICE FOR ME :)) and chips!  It was a day. i went to bed fulfilled and tired!  




BTW, for those of you who did text me, or called me (and there were allot) I answered one phone call and a few text messages.  sorry for not responding.  Anesthesia, Tordol and Morphine would not allow me to keep my eyes open long enough.  Without using a general thank you for those who have supported along the way. I need to point people out this week, without your help and support,  I couldn't have made it.  


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Thank you to my children for always being the driver behind the new me, without even realizing it.   Keisha for your worrying now about me taking your closet full of clothes and being in constant blowupmom'sphone via text messages while I  was in the hospital to make sure mama was good.  Victoria, i felt your presence ever so strongly while I was in the hospital know just how much you hate them, but allowed me to rest with ease.  Kohl, never expressing grave concern, but loving me anyway and measuring my inches lost by how far around your arms would/ still go around my waist.  and  William, my own personal nurse.  You have been great with all the medical stuff and the awesome conversations about all of this, for changing the gross bandage and looking excited at the JP drain tube.  You always make me laugh when you say in the coolest, calmest serious voice, "COOL drain".


Thank you to my two closest of friends who kept over my littlest while I began this journey, Telia and Renee. Thank you for making sure he posted to me and letting me get a peek of what he was up to while you had him :) <3 this will never be able to be repaid.  


Thank you to my cousin Shelly, who only discovered I was on this adventure a few months ago and has been a huge supporter since your  day one and for the beautiful flowers in the hospital.  i love you.


My partners in crime (so to speak)  Julie and staci!  This journey is an adventure and I'm right here beside both of you when its your time! <3


Thank you to those that text, emailed, called, and face booked me.... That list is lengthy, but I will try: Lacey, S Vic-Vick hooray, Wendy, Aunt Sandy, Ben, Pickle, Maureen, Katie, Ma Tante Jeanne, Aunt Loretta, Bibbit, Donna, my in-laws Donna and Bill, She-She, Ms. Judy, Kristina,  Darla, Martha, AZ, the famous BrandonKennedy, Chrissy White, Cheri, Jules Dow,  and Betsy!  PHEW! I hope that is everybody. . If I've forgotten you I'm sorry!.


A special thank you ,  mom. You have been right behind me from the very start and never wavered ever. I know you, too were apprehensive, but I made it though :)  You gave me the will power to move and now I'm movin it.  I will persevere and continue on!  I love you Mom!


and last but not least (cuz I'm sure I've forgotten somebody) Matthew... You have been my non stop (NOT ONCE) constant in all of this.  You didn't make the decision, but you made it easier for me to make them. Without your support, riding my ass, pushing to do it the right way, kicking me in the ass when i wanted to give up (and we both know the tears of defeat were there several times), for sitting 15 hours in the hospital with my pink/ white lunch bag full of MY pink stuff waiting for me, for being so attentive and caring when I just wanted to quit, for giving me  that "look" of  i got you..  With you, I could have done it, but having you by my side for every rocky step of the preceding chapters made is so much easier!  I love you.


Stay tuned.. two week post op pics will be posted..


<3 you all!.

Day 7 - This is easy!

well, this is easy squeezie lemon pleazie.. I'm over half way with the liquid only 3 more full days left.

My emotions (as always) are getting the best of me.  I'm ready, then I'm not, then I'm ready, then I'm not!  I don't know that I will be ready, but I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be.
The overwhelming support in the past few weeks has climaxed.  It humbles me terribly to see just how many people support and love me! Thank you.

I wont lie, I am missing my Tori Girl. She has been, from the beginning, one of the driving forces behind my positive attitude. She won't be here for another 28 days. I can't wait.

Keisha,once she got home, was a huge support and a FOOD Nazi. :) 
She and Matt will be at the hospital with me, waiting with the beeper. Cribbage could be on their plate.  Three hours of it, at least! lol..

Billy and I had a great talk about nutrition last night. I love the fact that he is interested.

Kohl, I think, he's nervous for me, but hasn't really said much.

Ilove, adore, and appreciate you all for the support and listening to me ramble on about all of this.  Your support means the world to me.