Its been since November 2012 that I wrote last. Six months Post op. That seems like ages ago. I'm sure my entries will be come less and less as time goes on.
Today, I am 169.8 pounds! :) that would be 159 pounds LESS than I was when I started my journey, for those of you counting pounds.
I'm ecstatic. I can't believe how great I feel, how I look, and how awesome my support system still is. I've become a support people too for several people in various states of a gastric surgery or weight loss.. I am helping them (I hope). I was blessed with the tools and a second chance on life. I want to pay it forward. I don't pretend to be a know it all, I just know what I know and what works for me. I will never say it will work for you. I can only share my experience. I've had some ask for help and take it. I've had some ask for help and not take it. Those who've asked and took it have been successful, no matter the route they've taken. Those who have failed have probably lied to me and themselves. I'm not offended or upset. You have to want this. You are the maker of your own destiny. YOU control your own life. If you lie to yourself when it comes to what you eat, how you eat, and why you eat, then you lie to ONLY yourself and nobody else. Until you are honest with yourself, you can not make the change. I was there once.
I have managed to accomplish a lot of Firsts in the second half of my year. I've fit into a kayak without squeeeezing into it, I've played broom ball, went snowshoeing, gone ice skating with my children, started running three days a week with the help of couch to 5K with TIED shoes, I went on the water slide at Jay Peak Pump House without worrying about the weight limit, I BOUGHT a real bathing suit (not just shorts and a tank top), and I hiked Hunger Mountain. I did it! All of those things, with doubts and apprehension, but I did it.My yearly check ups went great. I followed up with my Surgeon as well as my primary physician. I mainly went to my primary to thank her for the push. She pushed me once and I bucked her because I was lying to myself. The second push from her was not bucked. I thanked her at this visit in many tears of happiness. For those of you wondering... There are NO regrets, even though I've had a few side effects, but what's to regret? SO what I lost my thick hair, I got a great new hair cut :) and So what if my Vitamin B12 is in the toilet.. Its just a needle once a month. But, my cholesterol has dropped drastically as well. The good is coming up and the bad is going down. My weight loss has slowed/plateaued and now I've started to build muscle :) Yeah me! The picture above was taken April 26, 2013 near my one year surgeversary
I've probably added 10 or more years onto my life. I enjoy every day as the gift that it is. There are challenges and struggles that go along with this, but ya know what? I'm alive! I'm healthier. I will get to grow old with the one I love and enjoy being a grandmother, (Eventually). I have so much to be thankful for.
I will admit that I did become a bit of a food Nazi around the holidays and after it was pointed out to me multiple times, I toned it down and eventually all together stopped being vocal about it. I guess I was just so excited to be so healthy I got carried away. I wanted everybody around me to be healthier too. Ya know... They are! I guess part of me was jealous which I why I was so Nazi-ish. They were eating sweets and junk, as much as they wanted and when they wanted without a worry. I missed that, but I did really well. I did eat some of it.. Some of it I paid for and some I did not.
I am frequently asked now, 'Can you eat this? Can you eat that?' The answer is "YES." I can eat whatever I want. Does it agree with me? Not always, but I never refuse myself anything. That's where you get in trouble. I eat what I want when I want just knowing the consequences and prepared to deal with them.
In fact my tastes have changed drastically. for those of you who know me.. I never did chocolate, sweets, or steak. Well, Now I don't do milk, bread, rice, or complex starches regularly either, but give the chance for chocolate cake or a piece of steak.. You betcha! All in moderation of course.
Again I thank all of my friends and extended family for your constant support and encouragement during this journey. I especially thank my immediate family for putting up with all the Nazi business AND my frustrations, discouragement, and whining. Without you being there to keep me strong and steadfast, I would not be on the right track and I would be standing alone! I love you all
With Chocolate Kisses,
Bonnie
